tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1397027985964082612024-03-04T23:24:52.820-08:00LoBoatLitLori Boatfieldhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07690941945347161574noreply@blogger.comBlogger28125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-139702798596408261.post-21010418895830306912016-08-06T22:33:00.001-07:002016-08-06T22:36:35.769-07:00<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhSBCcijYwwCkDqTe2AmV98NRF_JGqAS1Q9ssGXnRMar30n-vSALZ678i8VACkrFhMMmP48PVCaXwzg7UXgzHSeT8MGsg9CjeBdXGjLpY-jXjkrGtGcyo3Imc7TlucFzYuN7GXuJdMo3XA/s1600/Jan+and+Blake.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhSBCcijYwwCkDqTe2AmV98NRF_JGqAS1Q9ssGXnRMar30n-vSALZ678i8VACkrFhMMmP48PVCaXwzg7UXgzHSeT8MGsg9CjeBdXGjLpY-jXjkrGtGcyo3Imc7TlucFzYuN7GXuJdMo3XA/s320/Jan+and+Blake.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Y’all, it’s been a rough couple of weeks. The Buckner family
has experienced sorrow that’s unimaginable to most of us. They watched their son/brother who’s struggled with
addiction lose the battle on earth. </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">The extended family watched a mother plead for healing for her
child. We prayed for her as she let him go.
As a mother, no matter how old your child, part of you always sees and remembers
the baby he was, recalls the precious and tender moments of that babyhood.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">I woke up this morning, the day of Blake Buckner’s funeral,
with dread in the pit of my stomach. I
knew today was going to be nearly impossibly hard for Jan and Barry, Bree, Ben
and Brandi. My prayer for peace and comfort
for them has been an almost-constant chant the past few days, and I know others have been doing the
same. I can say without a doubt, they felt all those prayers. Those prayers are part of the reason they
could stand up today and not fall down in despair.</span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Even though they grieved, the Buckner family’s faith in Jesus was
evident to everyone today. I’ve never
been so proud of kids (I know you’re not kids, but in my mind’s eye you’re the
toddlers in the photos flashing on the screen during the video.) Brandi,
Ben and Bree, you were amazing, so amazing, standing up to pay tribute to your
brother. You celebrated him in a way you
know he would have loved. You described
him using words like charismatic, funny, brilliant and with phrases like “lighting
up a room,” and “commanding attention.” You
painted a truly glowing picture of your brother.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Barry, as you read the words of the text Blake’s friend sent
you, the thing that caught my attention the most was that the boy who wrote
them had said to his mother as a kindergartner, “I made a friend!” Every person has felt unsure and nervous about
that at some point in life, maybe most especially at the beginning of school,
but that’s what Blake did. He made
friends. He made you laugh. He made an
impression. </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">But the thing he made that was most important was a profession
of faith. Just as we were reminded today, putting your faith in Jesus’ life,
death and resurrection secures your eternity with Him, but it doesn’t guarantee
your life will be easy. More than once
in the service, the word addiction was mentioned. But as Bree said, the enemy
didn’t win. Though they didn’t get the
miracle of Blake’s healing in this world, he did NOT lose the ultimate battle, for he is with
Jesus right now: no more suffering, no more struggle and no more fear. </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">I was filled with pride when I heard my brother’s eulogy
today. He is an anointed man of God and
I had every confidence in him, but I had been praying for him nearly non-stop
too, because I knew this particular funeral service would be so terribly difficult. He honored Blake by acknowledging his addiction but assuring us that his faith was absolutely real.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"> </span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Chad said that sometimes a
star isn’t even burning anymore, but we still see its light. That light is still making its way to us. Even thought Blake isn’t here, he left a
bright light behind. I pray that light spurs us all forward in our Christian
walk: to be more loving; to give our time and money freely to help those in need; to serve with glad hearts.
Especially that. I’ll always
remember Blake as someone who did everything with a glad heart.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">I will remember a fair-haired baby cousin who looked
like his grandfather, who delighted me with a sweet gap-toothed grin. I’ll remember
the kid in the picture who always made the crazy face. I’ll remember a smiling young uncle adoring his
nephews and niece. But most of all, I’ll remember that Blake was a Christian –
just like me: I'm an imperfect Christian who struggles daily with all kinds of
sorrows and fears; battles with the enemy; fights depression and anxiety with
God’s help and medication. We’re all broken in some way. We’re not promised an
easy life - in fact,</span></span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"> the Bible says in John 16:33 “I have told you these things, so that in me
you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have
overcome the world."</span></span> .
Some people may not win the battle here. But just like Blake, if you put
your trust in Jesus, your victory is assured. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Jan-Jan, Barry, Bree, Ben and Brandi, I love you all so
dearly. I’ll continue to pray for you. I’m overwhelmed and inspired by your
faith. May you feel the light of Blake’s
love in your hearts until you meet him again.</span></span></div>
Lori Boatfieldhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07690941945347161574noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-139702798596408261.post-71378570261735331592016-05-19T21:41:00.002-07:002016-05-19T21:52:32.015-07:00Thank you for the World So Sweet<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDt5Wc7Edwf36iviThMuYgrVVFmALw09ukEEJRyfZUpx4GX6UeqNBXtl00l0cJzx9oodc4a-pxHFLS_W_pi_Aai9IE3m-Imbl_GzZ3PX-vg8djNCo0hdkpfJdNPFqpmm2MHUyy3R44W_U/s1600/Monica+Dooley+3+2016.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDt5Wc7Edwf36iviThMuYgrVVFmALw09ukEEJRyfZUpx4GX6UeqNBXtl00l0cJzx9oodc4a-pxHFLS_W_pi_Aai9IE3m-Imbl_GzZ3PX-vg8djNCo0hdkpfJdNPFqpmm2MHUyy3R44W_U/s320/Monica+Dooley+3+2016.JPG" width="320" /></a></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">At Kiddie Kollege Preschool, the children learn a prayer that
begins with that line. </span></span><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Before I had children, I was sentimental. Once I had them, I began my descent into a
puddle of my own tears. I suddenly
understood the “stay little” wish. I counted
my blessings that they were healthy and growing, but the growing happened at
warp speed! </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">When Rafe, my firstborn, went to preschool, I was the
nervous, self-conscious mother. His
Kiddie Kollege experience was wonderful for him, but I couldn’t relax. Was I doing everything right? (Um, no!) Was I sending the right snack? Was he
on track with learning? (Um, yes, thanks to director/teacher Ginger Brooks and Sonya Walls -love you!) First
child syndrome, right?</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Sophie, my middle child, is finishing her last year of
preschool tomorrow. Mrs. Brooks has
become like family to us. We love her dearly.
The other teacher, Emily Edwards, is so precious and also has a God-given heart for
nurturing and teaching them. We’ve come
to love her too, in just a year of knowing her. We had the opportunity to know
and love Leigh Ann Thomas as a Kiddie Kollege teacher too.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">I’m having a really tough time with this whole Sophie-being-finished-with-Kiddie-Kollege. I didn’t have such a difficult time with Rafe. Not because I love him less, I just didn’t
GET IT. I didn’t truly grasp the concept
that when kindergarten<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> </span>begins, they’re
not really mine anymore. I don’t get to
snuggle on the couch and watch Sesame Street.
I don’t get to feed them lunch and tuck them into their little beds in
the afternoons. Whoever said, “The days are long but the years are short,” was
NOT joking. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">I’ve been blessed with a job that allows me to work from
home. It makes for some wild days, because aside from two hours a week, I’ve always
had at least one of the littles home with me. Bryce greets the crew at
Huntsville Event Magazine on Skype every Monday morning during our production
meeting. So don’t get me wrong. It’s not
all rainbows and unicorns at home with my kids all day. It’s messy and loud and there’s yelling and
tears, and that’s just me! But through the chaos (and there’s PLENTY of chaos) of,
“Don’t touch that,” and, “PLEASE, PLEASE STOP WHINING!” and, “Ok, I’m gonna be
on the phone for about five minutes, please don’t do anything crazy,” while
someone inevitably follows me around sobbing at top volume, I’ve enjoyed being
at home, watching them grow and hearing their comedic pronouncements. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">When big school starts, someone else spends the entire day
with my babies: teachers who will be kind, or not – they’re human after all </span></span><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">(we've never had this experience, for the record,)</span></span>
children who will say things that will hurt them, situations when they’ll feel
left out and less than and homesick.
Such is the nature of life. They
can’t grow into human beings who can love, nurture and serve others without
these experiences, but it still hurts – them and me!</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">This mama’s heart aches at sending her little blue-eyed girl
with the wedge haircut and the giant hair bow to kindergarten in the fall. She's frankly not too thrilled about it either. She's mourning her last day at Kiddie Kollege. I KNOW I'll
see her dimpled cheeks elongate and lose their baby plumpness. With Rafe it was
such a surprise, the face changing, but now I KNOW. My heart cracked a little when we dropped him
off at kindergarten. I was relieved (for
him) and admittedly sad that he didn’t ask for us to stay longer, rather, he
was excited to begin a new adventure. But
now I KNOW. They lose their tiny perfect
baby-teeth and the enormous replacements change their appearance, packing them
up for the road to adulthood much too soon. The sorrow is different this time,
because Rafe was the first one and I didn't know how drastic it would be until he was in kindergarten. I KNOW she’s leaving that sweet, baby world of innocence. Because I’ve already lost Rafe to the rigors
of big school, I get it now.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">I can’t even contemplate when Bryce, my baby bird, will fly
the preschool coop, have his last Kiddie Kollege program and repeat those
oh-so-final words: “In years to come, you’ll hear from us, and be amazed at our
knowledge. Just remember where it all
began, was here at Kiddie Kollege.”</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Y’all! I realize I
sound like a crazy person – and hey, if the shoe fits… This is just preschool! The puddle of tears will drown me by the time
they graduate high school and I have to contemplate them MOVING AWAY! </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Thank you Ginger Brooks for making Kiddie Kollege “the world
so sweet.” I wish all their future
teachers could love them as much as you have and do – and Rafe’s teachers have
been precious ones who loved him,(Melissa Bartlett, Amy Beck, Amy Graves and Anna Leigh Battles) with no exceptions! But I’m so thankful that all my babies had the treasured
opportunity to spend some of their first school mornings with you, learning
facts and prayers and songs, finding out how to function in a classroom,
learning discipline and most of all, being loved by people who share the love
of Christ in their vocation every day. I
thank God for you and for Mrs. Emily, and for the fact that Rafe, Sophie and
Bryce’s journeys all began at Kiddie Kollege.</span></span></div>
Lori Boatfieldhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07690941945347161574noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-139702798596408261.post-35374487370889124642016-05-10T20:23:00.006-07:002016-05-22T21:38:18.362-07:00Mama's Girl<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEikVUPsXyCHmP0wnF9s8glUTKQtot19io450u_g-UTZmSnmcQegYCusroaoQtTCkSki1s8LPNzPattweFN_xiVkbwgsbhfg-GPkQrZsvYFvFPqduXSKBfeuSnEWJAM94bGE7-tx1ayt3rw/s1600/mom+and+little+us.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEikVUPsXyCHmP0wnF9s8glUTKQtot19io450u_g-UTZmSnmcQegYCusroaoQtTCkSki1s8LPNzPattweFN_xiVkbwgsbhfg-GPkQrZsvYFvFPqduXSKBfeuSnEWJAM94bGE7-tx1ayt3rw/s320/mom+and+little+us.jpg" width="262" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">When I was a little, I was a mama’s
girl. Now that I'm 41, I’m still Mama’s girl. My mother went back to work when I
was four years old and I went to a wonderful preschool where I was loved and
treated with kindness and care. I was miserable. I wanted nothing but my mama.
The children whose parents were teachers picked them up (so I’m told now) about
half an hour earlier than I was collected. Those thirty minutes were an
eternity to my little-girl heart. I remember very clearly sitting by the
chain-link fence on the playground waiting, waiting, waiting. And the thrill of
seeing that mile-long red Buick LeSabre coming down the road, sweet relief!</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">When my mama picked me up, I was the
hook to her loop. Velcro city. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I’m told that this state of unbearable
misery was quite short-lived, that I adapted quickly and stopped being so sad
all day. Again, I’m suspicious.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">As a child, I recall occasions where I
awoke afraid of something: the dark; a noise; my own vivid imaginings of
monsters in the closet. I would call out in the softest voice, thinking I’d
surely have to call again. But no, before I could finish the thought, she’d be
there by my bedside, her soothing voice calming me.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">In college at Auburn, even though it
was exciting and fun and oh yeah, an education I was blessed to get, I still
missed her. One awful night when I had strep, I called home at midnight and my
mother literally hung up the phone, got up, got dressed and drove three hours
to get to me. To crawl in bed next to me with the comfort only she could provide.
</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Fast forward to me, bringing my own
child home from the hospital. Our first one. My hormones turned on me and
dumped me deep into postpartum depression. My mama was still working full-time
then, but even so, was nearby. There were a few days that I called and said,
“Can you please come over here now?” and she dropped whatever she was doing and
came. Velcro again. I physically sat on her lap one day when I felt so afraid
and anxious. I was hanging by a thread. She spoke not only words of comfort and
encouragement, but tough-love words. She said, “Go to the doctor. Tell the
truth. Don’t sugarcoat how bad this is. You have to get better for that sweet
baby.” My kind, generous, and admittedly bewildered husband must have been so
relieved!</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I did go, I did tell the truth. I did
get better. I did start to feel a bond with that sweet baby that I was
terrified I would never feel. Though it lasted only a few weeks, that illness
was the scariest, most insidious thing that ever happened to me. My mother’s
encouragement and our “little talk” spurred me to get the help I needed. It
took a whole team of people plus medication to pull me out of the depths of
that depression: including my precious mother-in-law who would come and sit
beside me for hours because I was afraid to be alone; and my sisters-in-law
Jamie and Angie who heartened me by telling me I wasn’t crazy; and most
notably, Jason, who went out of his way to handle me with care, and I’m so
thankful for them.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">My mother amazes me. I’ve never seen
her waver in her faith. Even when Daddy died, she grieved, but it didn’t take
over her life. She has a peace that comes from that deep faith. I envy it and
pray that someday I can achieve that kind of relationship with God. And
especially that kind of peace.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">She has seemingly unlimited energy –
she can work circles around us, and does. Her outlook is most always sunny and
her generosity of spirit has put her at the center of our jokes because she had
kind words about everyone, even if she had to dig deep to find them! </span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">She likes the dates on her snapshots,
and if her camera gets turned off that setting, why, she’ll just write in the
date on the front of the picture with a Sharpie (also the subject of our
terrible teasing.)</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">My mother told me when I was a child
and as I grew, that only God loved me more than she. Even when God feels far
away, the fact that my mother loves us as she does shows by example how God
loves his children. It was only after I had children of my own that I could
understand what she meant. </span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I know now how hard it is to get up on
Sunday morning and get everyone ready to go to church. That’s with two adults
(thank you Jason Boatfield for being such a good daddy and husband!) working
like maniacs to do it. My mother did it by herself when my dad had a job that
prevented him from going with us. And she made a hot breakfast to boot – not
just on Sundays.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Now she gets up every Sunday and makes
lunch for all of us before church because it’s a labor of love for her. (It’s a
battle of denominations, with the Baptists trying to starve out us
Presbyterians by having such long church services. Their pastor is apparently
long-winded.) Most Sundays it’s like an insane asylum, with kids running around
playing with the loudest toys on earth and adults running around putting ice
into glasses and clanking silverware and asking, “Sage do you want peas?” or
“Will Bryce eat green beans?” or often, “Mom, did you set a timer for the
bread?” But it’s an insane asylum propagated by the calmest woman imaginable,
burned rolls notwithstanding. </span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">To quote my Aunt Mona, I don’t have
enough words in my vocabulary to say how much my mother means to me. She has
given me life many times over: physically, spiritually, and emotionally. I wish
I could be the calm, unflappable mother to my children that she always has been
to us. She is the rock of our family, the glue that holds us together. </span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Thank you Mama, for not only being my
cheerleader and my advocate, but for giving me the worst punishment I could
imagine when I did wrong, telling me that you were disappointed. I never wanted
to disappoint you. I still don’t. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">On this Mother’s Day, I wish you all
the joy you’ve given away to others, though I’m not sure your arms or your
heart could hold it all. And most of all, I wish to wish you Happy Mother’s day
a thousand more times. I love you.</span></div>
Lori Boatfieldhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07690941945347161574noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-139702798596408261.post-16328541389301762132016-04-28T21:26:00.000-07:002016-05-10T20:31:15.184-07:0015 years ago...<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_EdTsNMvez4uA06GvjguQQK_NfbrZkt1Ls3zW_GhXC29r6iDQapj9_Z90GnG2LNUmH4JqwHURJ5xHEGU2PshqwejEoiZe8dpmcVoxQUnZBFe_XLC8u_f83molfjIPK-1Af2ef7sZ4TYo/s1600/pic+of+pic+bentley.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_EdTsNMvez4uA06GvjguQQK_NfbrZkt1Ls3zW_GhXC29r6iDQapj9_Z90GnG2LNUmH4JqwHURJ5xHEGU2PshqwejEoiZe8dpmcVoxQUnZBFe_XLC8u_f83molfjIPK-1Af2ef7sZ4TYo/s320/pic+of+pic+bentley.jpg" width="287" /></a></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Fifteen years ago tonight, I was packing a ridiculously overstuffed
suitcase to go on my honeymoon, (that suitcase the airline left behind
in Miami for an entire day and night after we got to Barbados. If one
more person had said, “It’s your honeymoon, you don’t need clothes,”
there would have been violence.) But I digress. That evening, I sat in
my childhood bedroom floor having a long talk with my brother about
marriage and our parents and life in general. As I ALWAYS do, I stayed
up way too late and didn’t wake refreshed on the morning of our wedding.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">But nothing could hold me back! Not exhaustion, not forgetting to
unlock the church for the florist, not locking my keys in the car at the
beauty salon. Nothing could break my purposeful stride toward that
altar.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">I remember very clearly having a headache and taking a Goody's
powder that I now know was the cause of my head feeling as though it
would spin off my neck with anxiety -think Linda Blair minus the pea
soup. I’m grateful to my brother-in-law, <a class="profileLink" data-hovercard="/ajax/hovercard/user.php?id=1640062881" href="https://www.facebook.com/angie.putman.7">David Putman</a>
for making a turbo trip to the Douglas Texaco to get a Little Debbie
oatmeal pie and a Dr. Pepper to settle my stomach. I also remember very
clearly my mother interceding for me with God to bring me peace from the
caffeine-induced anxiety occurring about 10 minutes before walking down
the aisle. She’s an effective intercessor. My anxiety lifted almost
immediately and my excitement returned. </span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">My daddy, who was never
much for big events, crowds and making fusses about simple things like
getting married, was the sweetest, most pleasant and smiling person that
day. He offered his arm, told me I was beautiful and proudly walked me
in, neither of us realizing what a beloved memory he’d leave behind for
me to cherish.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">We took communion with watermelon Kool-Aid and bits
of white sandwich-bread because I also forgot to check on the elements.
But as my friend <a class="profileLink" data-hovercard="/ajax/hovercard/user.php?id=592720061" href="https://www.facebook.com/keena.mashburn">Keena</a> sang, “How Beautiful,” we were reminded that the elements used for
communion are symbols, and the body and the blood of Christ were
represented. It didn’t affect the covenant. Most importantly, His
Spirit was there in Bethany Baptist Church.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">It was a beautiful ceremony and wonderful reception. It was everything I’d dreamed of as a little girl.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">But what happened in the ensuing years is part of a beautiful tale too,
albeit a realistic one. We’ve had seasons of anger, seasons of doubt,
days of unforgiveness and self-pity. We’ve made mistakes and not shown
grace to each other. We’ve slammed doors (well, I have) and both spoken
hateful words filled with blame.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">But we’ve remembered and forgiven.
We’ve laughed and cried, and laughed and laughed. We’ve appreciated
each other. And maybe more so in the past couple of years, we’ve truly
empathized one with the other. He’s seen the challenges I face with
motherhood and a job worked from home<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">,</span> and treated me to surprise-cooked
dinners and cleaned kitchens, unexpectedly bathed children, tucked
peacefully (haha) into bed. I’m thankful for a husband who doesn’t
shirk his responsibilities to his job, household or his children. I
hope I’ve been as understanding with his particular frustrations and
taken steps to make his life a little easier and a bit more pleasant as
he has for me.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">We’ll still have seasons of anger, and seasons of
fear, days when we’re tired and sick and aggravated with each other.
It’s just being human.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">We’ve created, through God’s miracle, three
beautiful and exceptional children who amaze us and make us proud and
send us a little closer to the edge every day. We planned to have two
and God laughed. We’re so grateful for that third little baby bird, the
change-in-plans named Bryce. We'll be a hundred years old when they
graduate from high school. We’re hoping science creates some youth serum
so we can someday appreciate grandchildren – but all in good time! </span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">The point is, after 15 years, the raised eyebrow and the smile with the
tiny space between his two front teeth can still give me butterflies.
Heaven knows the butterflies are less frequent than before because we’re
often both exhausted and just glad to sit near each other while we
gaze, nearly comatose, at the TV, phone or laptop. In other words,
we’re fairly normal. But I still think he’s absolutely the handsomest,
funniest, smartest, most charming and considerate man. </span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">My prayer
for our marriage is that we always look for the strengths and not dwell
on the weaknesses. I pray that we can show our children that our
relationship takes precedence over every other relationship except for
the one with God. I know we’ll face trials. We were promised that, but I
pray that we search for answers in the right place – that as we look
forward, we always look up – to the source of our lives, the source of
our love, the source of our joy. My prayer is that we know whatever we
must face, that with God’s resources, we can tackle it together.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">We’ve got a lot of plans, some of which I can see coming to fruition,
and some which may, as plans sometimes do, fly away with the wind. I
pray for discernment to distinguish our selfish ones from God’s perfect
ones.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">I’m more grateful than I have words (all evidence to the
contrary) for these 15 years. May the next 50 or so find us healthy,
with my Jayboat by my side, smiling that crooked smile, holding my hand,
kissing me hello and goodbye every single time.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">To Jason: my
friend; my love; my comedian; my hero, I promise you our little picnic
on that private beach we found on the leeward side of Barbados! Thank
you for our wonderful past! Here’s to our future. Happy anniversary.</span></span>Lori Boatfieldhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07690941945347161574noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-139702798596408261.post-53872477547209440052015-05-16T22:17:00.003-07:002016-05-10T20:29:36.685-07:00On those pesky Pixar movie songs<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">When Toy Story came out, I watched it and thought it was
sweet and cute and filled with punny humor for grownups. I don’t really remember sitting down and
watching Toy Story 2. As is the case with lots of kid movies, I’ve seen bits and
pieces.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh8OkhwEg-dahMzQp0YZMBdWtW8INUFI2Mk-Mo36_Sl0NnwYmdcJpyW2zvqEQBfciEfETIN_8R7ukyzYClOL1px8WBNRiCjAIiKXFYYwOUhFiWs4Qq1Dxq_Sq_JgIJVJo-0oz-fuNKoTGs/s1600/Sophie+recital+outside2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh8OkhwEg-dahMzQp0YZMBdWtW8INUFI2Mk-Mo36_Sl0NnwYmdcJpyW2zvqEQBfciEfETIN_8R7ukyzYClOL1px8WBNRiCjAIiKXFYYwOUhFiWs4Qq1Dxq_Sq_JgIJVJo-0oz-fuNKoTGs/s320/Sophie+recital+outside2.jpg" width="192" /></a><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Fast forward to the present, to me, the mother of three
children. Have y’all seen Toy Story
3? It’s just downright mean. Andy goes away to college, leaving his mom
behind along with the cherished icons of his childhood-Woody and Buzz. It killed me!</span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Even though my days are long and the arguing is maddening
and the whining pushes me past my limit, when I think of my babies leaving
home, I’m reduced to a puddle of hysterical tears. When they tell me they want
to live with us forever, I happily (albeit completely unrealistically)
agree. I know that they will “need” me
less and less, and I take immediate comfort in that because so often right now,
the “needs” feel overwhelming to me. But
at the same time, each milestone, each putting-the-toothpaste-on-by-myself
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">And then…guess what Sophie’s ballet recital song was? Jessie’s song from Toy Story 2, “When
Somebody Loved Me." It's the one where she recounts how her girl, Emily, loved her as a child,
then outgrew and ultimately abandoned her.
Jason makes fun of me for crying every time I hear the song, but it
represents more to me than just a child leaving behind a toy. To me it equals a child leaving childhood, growing up and not
needing the security of holding on – to a stuffed giraffe or a soft blanket or
my hand. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Don’t get me wrong! I’m happy to have healthy children who
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">So I hope this explains, to the other dance moms and a bit
better to my husband, my weeping at parent’s day at Studio B, and sometimes
when I was waiting outside the door there, and certainly today at the recital.
For the snuffling, mascara-smeared mess I was, I say thanks to Pixar and
Jessica Sheffey! Could you please pass the tissues?</span></span></div>
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Lori Boatfieldhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07690941945347161574noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-139702798596408261.post-46723962624246739742014-09-24T22:24:00.000-07:002014-09-24T22:29:22.463-07:00Hashbrown KeepinItReal<!--[if !mso]>
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<br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">Ok, here’s my confession:
most days, I would die an embarrassed, painful death if people I know
stopped by my house. I have to clear a
spot to stage photos of the kids. With
three children under the age of seven and a job where I work from home at tasks
that have no real start and stop time, I just stay overwhelmed. The laundry is overflowing, the toys are
EVERYWHERE and the kitchen table is buried under school papers and mail. </span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">What is the answer to all this mess? Don’t relax for one second. That’s the answer. Don’t sit down with your husband, who, by the
way, appreciates the struggle, but also is driven crazy by the clutter and
chaos. To be fair, it drives me crazy
too (or craziER, to be precise).</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">I went through a no-kidding, hormone-driven nesting phase when I was pregnant
with my youngest. I cleaned out closets,
deep-cleaned nooks and crannies, caught up the laundry and breathed a sigh of contented
relief at night when I fell, exhausted into bed. In the evenings after the children were
asleep, I folded laundry and put it away IMMEDIATELY, made sure that the stray
dish in the sink was washed, wiped down the stove top, scrubbed shower floors,
and on and on. I didn’t sit down and
watch television at night. I didn’t sit
down to do anything except drag out my laptop and get some work done for the
magazine. It was extremely satisfying, I have to admit. And at the time, I thought, “This isn’t that
hard. Why have I struggled so long?” I
kept it up for about 3 months after Bryce was born, when apparently, the
hormones wore off and my driving force ran smooth out of gas.</span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">
</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">The problem with the clutter is two-fold. The first is that there isn’t a
specific place for everything, so when I’m trying to figure out where to put
away, say, the foam -tipped craft painters or the school papers that I don’t
really have time to sort until Saturday, they get shoved in a pile that looks more
and more unsightly as the week passes.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">
</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">The second reason is that to do
one thing requires multiple steps – most of which I don’t have time to do right
then. For example, I’d like to put away
the clothes immediately after folding/hanging them, but I’d first need to sort the clothing
in the crammed closets and chests of drawers to make room for the clean clothes, make a
bag for charity (that would realistically sit by the door or in the back of my
car for six weeks), put away the off-season stuff in bins (that
have clean laundry in them because, let’s face it, the laundry baskets are already full) and put said off-season items away in
the storage areas high above the closets (which can be accessed
only by ladder and must literally be climbed into to reach the back).</span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-top: 12pt;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">To heap more trouble onto the
pile, it’s nearly impossible to do any of the housework tasks
during the day because sweet little hands are contributing ceaselessly to the
mess, and sweet little voices are, all the while, asking for snacks and apple juice, for help turning on lights
and wiping themselves. Add to that the fact
that my two-year-old is terrified of the vacuum cleaner and I have to hold him
while I vacuum if I do so while Daddy isn’t home.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-top: 12pt;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">Don’t get me wrong, I’m incredibly
blessed to have a home to clutter, a husband to drive crazy and healthy children
to wipe! It’s just that I drive myself
bananas in the process, trying, and failing, to keep up with it all. I saw the chart below on Facebook recently. Yeah, I know, I have time for that life-sucking activity! Ironic, isn’t it?.</span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhAmr_Ufk0X-2zyF0btc6UqHIxJqQu3xsi2otBVQEco7M3peVIRqGBHRNnbOcVfUV7vrHKUsT3SZipQfhezXw_EyI_IF0j85SBjhGfKj8VQwfZwo9-Fp9ltD8pbFuL7edSd_-IHL1s16l0/s1600/mommy+chart.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhAmr_Ufk0X-2zyF0btc6UqHIxJqQu3xsi2otBVQEco7M3peVIRqGBHRNnbOcVfUV7vrHKUsT3SZipQfhezXw_EyI_IF0j85SBjhGfKj8VQwfZwo9-Fp9ltD8pbFuL7edSd_-IHL1s16l0/s1600/mommy+chart.jpg" height="320" width="317" /></a></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">
</span></span><br />
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin-top: 12pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"></span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-top: 12pt;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">It’s so true! But the fact is my sanity suffers any way you
look at it. I can’t enjoy sitting down
to play with the kids amid the disaster, and I refuse to be the drill sergeant
who obsessively barks orders at them to keep things straight. I have enough orders to bark without adding constant clean-up to the list. Orders like; "Don't hit your sister!", "Please get your feet off of him, he hates that!" and "For the love of all that's holy, don't play in the toilet!" Midday mopping anyone? No happy medium. Am I right? </span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-top: 12pt;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">It’d be fantastic if we could be a
bit easier on ourselves, to do that which we’re advised by more mature women
who implore us to enjoy this time with our children and leave the mess. We absolutely know that all too soon, the
kids we’re picking up after will be gone from under our wings and roofs and we’ll
have much less mess to contend with. But
still…</span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-top: 12pt;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">Maybe there’s no sanity. Maybe we just all band together and be real. Maybe the only people who care so much about
how cluttered the house really is, is us. Oh, and our husbands.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-top: 12pt;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">I’m searching for the balance between
the mama who never-stops-working-at-it-for-a-second and the one who trips over
the dolls in an effort to give cough medicine in the middle of the night. But until the sippy cups sprout feet instead
of fuzzy mold like the one I found under the couch last week, and walk
themselves to the dishwasher, which needs emptying of the clean dishes as I write, I'm simply stumped.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-top: 12pt;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">Carry on, you mamas and daddies in the
trenches. And let me know if you find
some housekeeping hacks for me. In the
meantime, the struggle is real over here.</span></span></div>
Lori Boatfieldhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07690941945347161574noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-139702798596408261.post-73020960547996205972014-05-07T23:23:00.000-07:002014-05-07T23:38:24.004-07:00Careful what you wish for<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiwYc6qpQ6XAe-BGSe1_N0PaxElyP7X6BTd0Hrb9QoQUCGO2zPJdEituB2Xic4ul-D_RsjoXL_bg4DTEcl4IgQG66r992VfarGUbUHsJhRjiV2noznxRYoL0RfD0_ZTt6MO26wjfbGjPn0/s1600/Young+ladies+circle.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiwYc6qpQ6XAe-BGSe1_N0PaxElyP7X6BTd0Hrb9QoQUCGO2zPJdEituB2Xic4ul-D_RsjoXL_bg4DTEcl4IgQG66r992VfarGUbUHsJhRjiV2noznxRYoL0RfD0_ZTt6MO26wjfbGjPn0/s1600/Young+ladies+circle.jpg" height="193" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">At a gathering of some women friends from my church tonight,
one friend told me that her husband, who normally doesn’t eat much fast food,
treated himself to a Big Mac for his birthday.
Another friend mistakenly thought she said he treated himself to a
nap. I said with a laugh, <i>that</i> would be a treat to me, to have
everyone out of the house so I could take a long nap. </span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Yet another friend at the gathering is in her 50’s and was
widowed not too long ago. When I made
the comment about the nap, she put her arms around my shoulders and whispered
to me, “Careful what you wish for. I can sleep as long as I like.” She went on to point out that the things we
wish for when we’re in the middle of the busyness of raising a family, like
some alone-time, seem ironic when you actually get them. </span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjo_Z7jwX1dceV8ezmBPm_5dVPLu9rcS-hoo6QNk5hDqQhBOybvUaMzYrUU-cKHozUHDVP18qGQAWu6NmBO69Z4uqfzTH-IhKizLkHoZXCZriWO5x4bjG7V8aFApovInasgkXmSedGmdDQ/s1600/Dad+and+kids.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjo_Z7jwX1dceV8ezmBPm_5dVPLu9rcS-hoo6QNk5hDqQhBOybvUaMzYrUU-cKHozUHDVP18qGQAWu6NmBO69Z4uqfzTH-IhKizLkHoZXCZriWO5x4bjG7V8aFApovInasgkXmSedGmdDQ/s1600/Dad+and+kids.jpg" height="320" width="239" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">My prayer tonight is that I can stop wishing for peace and
quiet and appreciate the chaos a little more, do less photographing of my life
for Instagram and more LIVING in it. I
pray that the worries, stresses and the weight of my to-do’s will fade into
the background during the times my babies demand my attention. That when they
say, “Hold you, Mommy,” I will realize, each time, that there will be a <i>very</i> last time they ask, and it won't be too far down the road. I pray that I'll remember these days won’t last
forever and I have to soak them up, to hold those babies, even though I’m
more than half-crazy and the house is most always a disaster. Because one day, I’ll look back from the vantage
point of my neat, quiet, empty house and span of days ahead and wish for them
back.</span></span>
</div>
Lori Boatfieldhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07690941945347161574noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-139702798596408261.post-21335844819497019712014-04-18T21:48:00.002-07:002014-04-18T21:48:45.649-07:00It's Four O'clock and all is...well.. "-My Messy Beautiful"<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><em id="yui_3_7_2_1_1397872319942_8913">This essay and I are part of the Messy, Beautiful Warrior Project — To learn more and join us, <a href="http://momastery.com/messy-beautiful-warrior-instructions/" id="yui_3_7_2_1_1397872319942_8915" rel="nofollow" style="border: 0px none; color: #009abc; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px none; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;" target="_blank" title="Messy Beautiful Warrior Project Instructions">CLICK HERE! </a>And
to learn about the New York Times Bestselling Memoir Carry On Warrior:
The Power of Embracing Your Messy, Beautiful Life, just released in
paperback, <a href="http://momastery.com/carry-on-warrior/" rel="nofollow" style="border: 0px none; color: #009abc; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px none; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;" target="_blank" title="Carry On, Warrior: The Power of Embracing Your Messy, Beautiful Life">CLICK HERE!</a></em></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 18.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Frustrated, aggravated, I’m struggling
to accomplish something that I shouldn't bother trying to accomplish until my
three are in bed for the night. I’m ignoring the pulverized Goldfish crackers on
the rug under my feet, letting Bryce wander around freely with a third serving
so I can <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">try</i> to finish an email for
work. Sometimes working from home is for the birds! I check to see if it's 5:15
- time for backup to arrive - this is a two man job (at least) and Daddy seems
to have fresh energy when they tackle him at the door. They’re just so glad <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">someone’s</i> not grouchy! I’m guilty
already for not having <span style="mso-bidi-font-style: italic;">anything at all</span>
in mind for dinner and even guiltier for the monstrous pile of laundry that seems
never to shrink. The fact that the den looks like a bomb exploded, scattering
toys, shoes and snacks just adds to the anxiety!</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgT6vxnEYGqjOT5jzRwisGlsOyYEaA9doamAwWyzebbZbMW33mi0-bE87MALcUIQRAGQru9udgMncjOdv5AoCPkJb3pkg4wH0EaSaCDbgjxX6k5MLCZ1KKJsBzNVLP_kW00ygkR7RMUC9E/s1600/Vacuum+cleaner+hero.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgT6vxnEYGqjOT5jzRwisGlsOyYEaA9doamAwWyzebbZbMW33mi0-bE87MALcUIQRAGQru9udgMncjOdv5AoCPkJb3pkg4wH0EaSaCDbgjxX6k5MLCZ1KKJsBzNVLP_kW00ygkR7RMUC9E/s1600/Vacuum+cleaner+hero.jpg" height="320" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 18.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 18.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I’m trying not to yell at them, then
I’m yelling at them, "HEY!! Please stop yelling!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was ON THE PHONE!” I know, right?
Or in my angry voice with my angry face, teeth clenched, saying,
"Will you please speak more KINDLY to your SISTER!" I KNOW, right?
And the not-so-magic-momma-mirror appears and I see the ugliness of my anger,
and over what? Nothing, really. My own stresses that have nothing to do with
them. And that little voice in my heart whispers the phrase I saw online
somewhere and wrote on the notepad on the fridge, and on the post-it stuck to
the computer screen, "The way we talk to our children becomes their inner
voice." </span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span>
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Then the real guilt crashes in as I think of another mother some 70 miles away
in a hospital room watching her just-turned-three-year-old baby fight for his very
life, praying for a transplant that will save him. </span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 18.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">And I think of my grandmother who lost
her 62-year-old son. Even though he was a grown man with his own grandchildren,
he never ceased being her baby. And I think of my mother-in-law, who lost
her 18-year-old son. Many years later, she continues to laugh and cry, live a
happy life, breathing in and out, but never quite outruns the sorrow.</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 18.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Then the tenderness and overwhelming
realness get all tangled in sadness and an aching...ache I feel looking at my
own nearly three-year-old, cherub-faced daughter. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-size: large;">I gather them all up in my chair,
even my growny six-year-old boy who still craves my hugs and kisses</span>. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 18.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">And I look at their tiny noses and
their long eyelashes and the baby's full-lipped pout, and I feel a pang of regret
that I don't do this more often. That I say, “Just a minute, let me finish
this and <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">then</i> I’ll hold you.”</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 18.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">And I tell them, through messy,
snarfled tears, with words that can't even touch being enough that I love them
so, so so much. </span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 18.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">And I know I'll be aggravated and
tired and cranky/hormonal again, probably in about 10 minutes. But in this
moment, I’m just so thankful I have mind enough to be thankful for this moment.</span></div>
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Lori Boatfieldhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07690941945347161574noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-139702798596408261.post-28891831188041555632014-03-28T15:36:00.000-07:002014-03-28T22:15:06.617-07:00No make-up selfie - the LoBoat way<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I was challenged to do the “no make-up selfie” by my sweet
friend Leanne McElrath today. Well, I love
the idea of raising awareness for breast cancer, but I wanted to take it a step
further.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I’d like to start by saying that to me, the face of breast
cancer was always a stranger’s face. That is until 2008, when the face of
breast cancer for me became this face:</span></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjL_lbvvH3LrxIBMQmbZL_2gxtPFS6XzdCHAA-OYdveK2M5x6pGDk0qVGfkTlbRl9YNFvp6CyPQcejyN9j0b5y3w4yu3dlTlPyMJOXBemclWJpHec4UoWkgkNCXkLFBp3TzQFRW5YpWAWU/s1600/Jamie.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjL_lbvvH3LrxIBMQmbZL_2gxtPFS6XzdCHAA-OYdveK2M5x6pGDk0qVGfkTlbRl9YNFvp6CyPQcejyN9j0b5y3w4yu3dlTlPyMJOXBemclWJpHec4UoWkgkNCXkLFBp3TzQFRW5YpWAWU/s1600/Jamie.jpg" height="320" width="204" /></a></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"> and by association, these faces:</span></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjU_A9nl7-HUcncZsodK4wVQrXlZPmlMIPcNs4-nzxsH_P_B7pGdET4EybprjqrPTP122ZXTZ5lwCcJC7Rd20e9bxHGLBiq4HjWDY9g0suY0U5N6FhauBFPzE5dwI_DQGtGkg0CP4q-fwk/s1600/these+faces.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjU_A9nl7-HUcncZsodK4wVQrXlZPmlMIPcNs4-nzxsH_P_B7pGdET4EybprjqrPTP122ZXTZ5lwCcJC7Rd20e9bxHGLBiq4HjWDY9g0suY0U5N6FhauBFPzE5dwI_DQGtGkg0CP4q-fwk/s1600/these+faces.jpg" height="320" width="227" /></a></span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /></span></span>
<br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">That is my sister-in-law, Jamie. At 38, she was diagnosed. With two little boys and a grown up one (her
husband), the cancer diagnosis turned her world upside down. After a lumpectomy, she had
radiation, chemo and participated in an additional chemotherapy clinical trial. The treatments made her very ill. Her nails turned brown and gnarly, her
eyebrows and eyelashes fell out. She temporarily
lost her (great) hair, a lot of her dignity and on many days her sense of humor
(also great). What she didn’t lose was
her faith. I know she would tell you
that it was the prayers of so many (and mashed potatoes) that helped her muddle
through the day-to-day awfulness.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">She chose to participate in the clinical trial even though
she wasn’t guaranteed to actually receive the trial medication; it was possible
she could receive the placebo. Afterward
she learned that she did indeed get the powerful drug, which lessens the chance
for any cancer recurrence. She's been cancer free for 6 years!</span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Here’s how I’d like to raise breast cancer awareness.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Step 1: (And this is
the most important step!) Pray for
someone who has breast cancer and do it daily. Add them to your prayer journal. If you don’t know someone personally, ask
your friends. They’ll know someone. If they don’t, I have a friend who was just
diagnosed you can pray for. Pray for “Lori’s
friend” (God will know who you’re talking about) or private message me to find
out her name. Pray for your person's family, her
husband and children, her mother and her friends.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Step 2: Get involved-either with your wallet or your time or
both! Do something. If you’re able and feel led, donate
to your favorite breast cancer research organization. Here are a couple of links.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">On <a href="https://secure.info-komen.org/site/Donation2;jsessionid=B073B193E0999F6B8E074B86D3AF896A.app354b?idb=2003038123&df_id=12050&12050.donation=form1&idb=0&utm_expid=66534016-3.QyhZsCHxR7aYGpSbPMUZFA.0&utm_referrer=http%3A%2F%2Fww5.komen.org%2F" target="_blank">The Susan G. Komen</a> website you can donate as little as $5 online. The home page of the website has plenty of other active ways to get involved.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Want something a little closer to home? In Marshall County, the <a href="http://www.mmcenters.com/index.php/foundation" target="_blank">Foundation for Marshall Medical Centers</a> raises money throughout the year with programs like the Pink Pumpkin Run to fund mammograms
for women who couldn’t otherwise afford them. Click the link to find out how to help. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">If you have a friend going through this and she's having a
tough time with treatment, take her a meal, pick up some dirty laundry and
deliver it back washed and folded (if you’re really good friends with her, put
it away).</span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Lastly, never discount the power of your words. Call, message, send a note through the
mail. Encourage someone, even if it’s a
someone you don’t know well, someone whose name you got from a friend. If you want to do something, let them know
you’re praying for them, that you're thinking of them, that you care. </span></span></div>
Lori Boatfieldhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07690941945347161574noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-139702798596408261.post-32924563629711109942014-03-06T00:43:00.000-08:002014-03-06T00:43:37.061-08:00How baby socks hurt my heart today<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgr_MVqA5TJfEnjpI7dhlYEWIgRG7JQKCrsSRd-q1WIsUSXDpL8mpuAdN8FeIfFRQTkufK9iPUjmUp9rB4QAE2Hl7zanDtV9UHR96sNnYSlV-RcNcTuLzZIrUOz9MCJ9z3fXOiz3WC5TZQ/s1600/Socks+all+three.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgr_MVqA5TJfEnjpI7dhlYEWIgRG7JQKCrsSRd-q1WIsUSXDpL8mpuAdN8FeIfFRQTkufK9iPUjmUp9rB4QAE2Hl7zanDtV9UHR96sNnYSlV-RcNcTuLzZIrUOz9MCJ9z3fXOiz3WC5TZQ/s1600/Socks+all+three.jpg" height="320" width="267" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Day one of my Lenten project, 40 bags in 40 days, a
decluttering project, began with my odd sock basket.<span> </span>I don’t let my children use the word hate, so
I’ll begin by saying I LOATHE socks.<span> </span>If
I could find a way around them at all, I would.<span>
</span>I had, until just now, an entire laundry basket full of odd socks sitting on
top of my dryer.<span> </span>I had to reach around
it every time I wanted to dry clothes.<span> </span>It was ridiculous.<span> </span>Once in a while, I go through it and match up
what I can, but as piles do, it grows again with time and the sock-eating
laundry process.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Tonight my resolve was bright and shiny and new so I set about
dumping out all the socks and sorting them by person.<span> </span>I was doing quite well when I came upon the
first of the teeny baby socks, a blue, ever-so-soft sock with bear faces.<span> </span>My youngest will be two this summer, and in
the past few weeks, he has grown from baby to boy, chattering non-stop and
getting a more angular big-boy face.<span>
</span>While I spend many moments throughout the day wishing my littles were just a
little bigger (!!!), I still wish I could freeze some
moments - the nice ones, not the crying and gnashing of teeth ones.<span> </span>The teeny baby socks put me in
mind of the teeny baby feet I used to admire and snarfle and kiss.<span> </span>Those little feet that fit into those tiny
socks were a slice of Heaven!<span> </span>So soft and
sweet and nearly edible.<span> </span>I know, I’m a
weirdo.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Through the 2 a.m. nursing to the 4 a.m. teething
awakenings, even when mouths were crying and demanding attention, those tiny
feet inspired tenderness in me.<span> </span>In my
worst postpartum depression moments, the feet of my eldest stirred
maternal feeling when nothing else seemed to make a difference.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">So when I was choosing which socks wouldn’t possibly stretch
over Bryce’s ever-elongating feet, it hit me that I wouldn’t be saving any for
the next baby.<span> </span>This was it.<span> </span>Don’t get me wrong, I don’t dream of another baby,
I just mourn the passing of my babies’ beloved teeny feet.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">I held up various pairs to Jason for inspection, presenting them, and then holding them to my heart.<span> He wasn't quite so moved as I, especially about four socks into this process.
</span>It was the pink trimmed, lettuce-edged “I Love Mommy” ones of Sophie’s
that made my heart ache the most.<span> </span>I can’t
explain why, but those gave me more pause.<span>
</span>Maybe because she’s my lone daughter, or maybe <span></span></span></span><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">because of the time frame
and my state of mind, I enjoyed her babyhood with the most leisure.</span></span> </span>Rafe was nearly four when she was born, so he was getting to be independent, plus I experienced no depression after she was born.<span> </span></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Whatever the reason, I couldn’t part with those cherished
socks.<span> </span>They’ll go in her keepsake
box.<span> </span>I also chose a pair for each of the
boys, to put away as mementos of a time when teeny feet inhabited my home and
my heart.</span></span><br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg0gVJwPvVaeb7H69SMca_3coIATuS2WcTlfWCFx8qEYn2inAnPc9KUq6WbzdljvHD_5kSJXBoG11BFgguJztVrzZgfjn8CT4xwngQzXsBsLUrj7_p656HACLSIazqcENXvIm2XHwLYOec/s1600/Sophie+socks.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg0gVJwPvVaeb7H69SMca_3coIATuS2WcTlfWCFx8qEYn2inAnPc9KUq6WbzdljvHD_5kSJXBoG11BFgguJztVrzZgfjn8CT4xwngQzXsBsLUrj7_p656HACLSIazqcENXvIm2XHwLYOec/s1600/Sophie+socks.jpg" height="320" width="279" /></a></div>
<br />
Lori Boatfieldhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07690941945347161574noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-139702798596408261.post-68150144652445306202013-09-04T15:12:00.000-07:002013-09-04T15:17:09.571-07:00Hold You Me<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgzOyj1pqq2nRtsUmpedH8MwuLg2EFCRS8Z_lMsG8s7WMo9tqVJmqQpympJs2_2JC4BSsy7ckqltYsiYIA_YJfow4H45-OsDUrnI5EvP77ti5f_QAD15FzpYoPp8X2tIa11kws5a7WJ1UY/s1600/Sophie+first+day.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgzOyj1pqq2nRtsUmpedH8MwuLg2EFCRS8Z_lMsG8s7WMo9tqVJmqQpympJs2_2JC4BSsy7ckqltYsiYIA_YJfow4H45-OsDUrnI5EvP77ti5f_QAD15FzpYoPp8X2tIa11kws5a7WJ1UY/s320/Sophie+first+day.jpg" width="151" /></a><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;">Last
night, the night before Sophie started her first day of two-year-old
preschool, I was reading a book about a woman whose only child, a daughter, was
moving 3000 miles away from her to begin college. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;">The
writer, a very good one, evoked those letting go emotions. Maybe because I only have one daughter, or maybe because she's always been more of a mama's girl than either of the boys, I felt a connection. Though I
would only be leaving my baby girl at school for two hours on two mornings each week,
it was still our first real time apart. Her first baby steps toward
independence. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;">Through
the harried days of summer with all three kids home, to the tiny bit less
harried days of fall with the almost three-year-old and the just turned
one-year-old, I find myself putting the kids off when they ask me for most
anything. "Just a minute," is my stock response. While it feels as though (and most often appears as though) I get
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;">The
request issued most is from Sophie who says in the sweetest voice, "Mommy,
I need to hold you,” which has evolved from the precious baby phrase, “Hold you
me.” And it often is when I'm cooking, or I'm changing Bryce's diaper, or in the bathroom, or something
equally consuming that prevents me from picking her up and holding her at that moment. But other times, it's just because I'm tired, or it's easier to let her walk (always) or I don't want to take the time to stop and pick her up.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;">This
morning as I walked her into the building and I reached for her hand (I was
carrying my littlest) and she said, "No, mommy, I’ll do it by myself,"
I felt a twinge of sadness that I don't always hold her when she asks.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;">It's
so hard to balance the have to’s with the want to’s when it comes to taking
care of our homes and our children. But this morning, as I envisioned my only
daughter in the not-so-distant future, not needing me so desperately, not
clinging to me and then not really wanting me at all (age 12? maybe sooner?), it made those precious,
"Hold you me’s," a lot more like have to's than things I can put off
till later.</span></span></div>
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Lori Boatfieldhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07690941945347161574noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-139702798596408261.post-46441117337346435362013-05-06T20:23:00.002-07:002013-05-06T20:23:49.963-07:00Green Like Grandma<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<br />
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<b><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">Green Like Grandma</span></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">Lori Boatfield</span></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">As seen on <u><span style="color: blue;"><a href="http://www.reviveyourlife.com/"><span style="color: blue;">www.reviveyourlife.com</span></a></span></u></span></b></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple; text-align: center; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">Learning Green Living From Past
Generations</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<b><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">Key Words:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>green living, recycling, reusing,
conservation, lower emissions, clean air, gardening, carpool, conserving water,
conserving electricity</span></b></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple; text-align: center; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">As energy costs continue to rise, and the sources for
that energy dwindle, we search for ways to conserve.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When thinking of the future, we can use the
past as a guide.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">I’m 34 years old and I think my grandparents’
generation knew a thing or two about conservation.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They raised seven children, most of them born
during the Great Depression.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Though my
mother, the youngest, was born in 1947, when the depression had technically
ended, her family never had much in terms of material possessions.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They lived “out in the country” as I still
think of it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My grandfather worked
second shift at a steel manufacturing plant.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>With no car, he either walked or caught a ride (carpooled) the
twenty-some miles there.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>During the day,
he farmed: growing cotton and vegetables, and raising livestock on a small
scale.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My grandmother never held a job
outside the home, despite earning a teaching degree, but with a houseful of
children and farm chores, she had plenty of work to do.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I like to call her the queen of
conservation.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My mother fondly remembers
her as a pack rat.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<b><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">Food for (Green Living) thought</span></b></div>
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">Whether we call them pack rats or conservationists, we
can learn green living lessons from their lifestyle.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My grandparent’s farm sustained them in most
every way.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The animals provided meat,
milk and lard (ugh!).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The produce was
home grown and canned to last.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">While it isn’t feasible for most of us to raise
livestock at home, we can still apply some of the farming principles.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A small vegetable garden can be surprisingly
prolific.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You may find you have a bounty
for your family with some to spare and share.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>With simple canning or freezing, you can enjoy the “fruits” of your
labor all year long.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Even if your space
is limited to exclude a vegetable garden, herbs can be grown and easily
maintained in a sunny windowsill.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My
friend makes pesto from her abundant basil.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>You may also find these home-grown practices benefit your budget,
because 1) growing your own is less expensive, and 2) home canned vegetables
and fruits make wonderful gifts.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">Consider the impact of growing a garden on the
environment:</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>-No
disposable packaging is used</span></div>
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>-Less
fuel is used overall since there’s no need for transporting</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>-Less
emission/pollution from transport</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>-Cleaner
air due to more trees and green plants</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple; text-autospace: none;">
<b><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">Baby steps to get you started</span></b><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-char-type: symbol; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt; mso-no-proof: yes; mso-symbol-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-char-type: symbol; mso-symbol-font-family: Symbol;">·</span></span><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Buying produce at a local farmers market cuts down on disposable
packaging as well as fuel and emissions (not to mention stimulating your local
economy).</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-char-type: symbol; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt; mso-no-proof: yes; mso-symbol-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-char-type: symbol; mso-symbol-font-family: Symbol;">·</span></span><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Try planting herbs in small containers in a windowsill or sunroom.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Most herbs are fairly hardy and need little
care. </span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple; text-autospace: none;">
<b><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">Recycling Disposable goods</span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">My brother-in-law recently visited his grandparents
and inspired this piece.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He reached for
the aluminum foil to wrap leftovers, and found several loose pieces rolled
neatly back onto the unused roll.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The
scraps had been carefully washed and dried and were ready for reuse.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>While I don’t sanction this particular type
of recycling because I question the bacteria factor, I find it inspires me to
think of other recycling projects. </span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">Along with foil and disposable plastic cups (which she
cycled through the dishwasher), my grandmother was a wrapping paper
recycler.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She could make a roll of paper
and a bag of bows last for years.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We all
knew not to crumple our Christmas paper at Grandma’s because she saved it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>For her, wrapping paper was a luxury to be
carefully guarded and conserved. </span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">The lesson we can learn is to be mindful of the things
we toss into the trash.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Many in my
generation have a throw-away mentality because there’s always more at the
store.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I may be oversimplifying, but <i>I’ve</i>
always taken for granted the disposable lifestyle:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>use paper plates, don’t wash dishes!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My very favorite disposable is paper towels.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">While I find it difficult to curb my paper towel use
(select-a-size helps), it’s easier than ever to be wise about what we throw
away.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When it comes to disposable,
recycle EVERYTHING you can.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If your town
doesn’t have recycling pick up, chances are a nearby city does.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So investigate their policies and receptacle
locations, and drop off on your way to somewhere.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">I must confess, I sometimes find myself saving
wrapping paper.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If it’s a particularly
pretty print, I unwrap carefully and put it aside.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I cut the still-flat part out and use it for
smaller packages.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I also save gift bags
and tissue paper.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Intact tissue paper
can be ironed on a low setting and voila, good as new.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Maybe it’s genetic.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Grandma would be proud.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple; text-autospace: none;">
<b><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">Baby steps to get you started</span></b><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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</span>Cut down on the disposable items you use by using “real” plates and cups
and investing in reusable grocery bags (buy one bag per shopping trip and soon
you’ll have plenty).</span></div>
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">Some reusable grocery bags can be folded into small
pouches for easy carrying in your handbag or glove compartment.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-char-type: symbol; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt; mso-no-proof: yes; mso-symbol-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-char-type: symbol; mso-symbol-font-family: Symbol;">·</span></span><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Consider washable, reusable water/drink containers.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Your water is still convenient for on-the-go,
but fewer plastic bottles wind up in landfills.</span></div>
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</span>Reuse individual hand-soap containers and buy the large bottles of soap
for refilling.</span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-char-type: symbol; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt; mso-no-proof: yes; mso-symbol-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-char-type: symbol; mso-symbol-font-family: Symbol;">·</span></span></b><b><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span></span></b><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">Use both sides of paper for notes,
everyday printing projects, keeping score for Jeopardy, etc.</span></div>
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<b><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">Conserving Water</span></b></div>
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">Until the 1960’s my grandparents got their water from
a spring about 100 feet away from the house.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>They went down to the springhouse, which my mother tells me was fraught
with spiders, and brought the water up the hill by the bucket.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Water for baths was heated on the stove (a
wood-powered, pot-belly model until they bought a gas range in the 70’s).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We can’t imagine carrying water to the house
from afar.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You can bet not a drop was
wasted.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And flushing the toilet, forget
it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>No need for flushing in the
outhouse!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Even after they got indoor
plumbing, the conservative mind-set was still in place.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We can learn to be mindful of our water use
by imagining carrying 5 gallon buckets of water up a hill (what a work-out!)
and going to the outhouse on cold winter nights.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<b><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">Baby steps to get you started</span></b><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-char-type: symbol; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt; mso-no-proof: yes; mso-symbol-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-char-type: symbol; mso-symbol-font-family: Symbol;">·</span></span><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>When it’s time to replace toilets, consider water conservation
models.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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</span>Turn off the water while brushing your teeth.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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</span>Collect rain water for outdoor plant watering.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If you use a sprinkler system for grass or
shrubs, make sure it’s watering what you want to water, and not the driveway or
the street. Consider installing a timer for your sprinklers so that watering is
done at the most beneficial time of day (or night).</span></div>
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</span>Be vigilant about fixing household water leaks.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Long-term, they can waste a considerable
amount of water.</span></div>
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<b><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">Conserving Electricity</span></b><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">For my grandparents electricity was a resource to be
used carefully.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My grandfather toiled
all day on the farm while my grandmother had busy days of caring for house and
family.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>With the exception of my
grandfather, who went to his second job in the evening, the family went to bed
quite early. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Some contemporaries of
theirs, according to my mother, turned in as soon as darkness fell.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This was a wonderful way to conserve
electricity and heat.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The lights and
television were off, and the fire was stoked to burn low until morning.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We can learn to conserve from these practices
in many ways.</span></div>
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<b><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">Baby steps to get you started</span></b><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="color: red;"></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-char-type: symbol; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt; mso-no-proof: yes; mso-symbol-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-char-type: symbol; mso-symbol-font-family: Symbol;">·</span></span><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Turn off the power to and unplug any household item not in use, since an
electrical charge continues to be drawn even when the power is off.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>To simplify unplugging, use power strips.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-char-type: symbol; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt; mso-no-proof: yes; mso-symbol-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-char-type: symbol; mso-symbol-font-family: Symbol;">·</span></span><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Install a programmable thermostat so energy is conserved when the house
is empty or while everyone’s asleep.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-char-type: symbol; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt; mso-no-proof: yes; mso-symbol-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-char-type: symbol; mso-symbol-font-family: Symbol;">·</span></span><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Use ceiling fans to supplement the heating and cooling process.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They should turn counterclockwise in the
summer to circulate cooler air and clockwise in the winter to drive heated air
back down into the room.</span></div>
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">I believe if my maternal grandparents were alive
today, they would still be responsible citizens of the earth.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>With a little ingenuity, and a lot of
practice, we can all be more responsible. Now, where are those gift bags?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have tissue paper to iron!</span></div>
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Lori Boatfieldhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07690941945347161574noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-139702798596408261.post-11776303201882045212009-05-26T19:29:00.000-07:002009-05-27T10:03:34.265-07:00Momus Interruptus<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9qOaUWdxdyy6hSekA0fUM7VDhHQ-Tp45NUJTx1HCIlh_JD99D1IfR4_6w6Gz6BirF1CP9dWyZa-HVQrMNIoVVJsk4vmE04MaFyoWrfBoZUonS_ur1kIWV0-3b1TrrhbszWUPaqZ3Bekw/s1600-h/Rafe+for+collage.jpg"><img style="MARGIN: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; WIDTH: 193px; FLOAT: left; HEIGHT: 200px; CURSOR: pointer" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5340327440996334482" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9qOaUWdxdyy6hSekA0fUM7VDhHQ-Tp45NUJTx1HCIlh_JD99D1IfR4_6w6Gz6BirF1CP9dWyZa-HVQrMNIoVVJsk4vmE04MaFyoWrfBoZUonS_ur1kIWV0-3b1TrrhbszWUPaqZ3Bekw/s200/Rafe+for+collage.jpg" /></a><br /><span style="font-size:130%;"><span style="font-family:arial;">The title speaks for itself, wouldn’t you say? I can’t speak for mothers who work outside the home (I imagine it‘s much worse for you), but in my stay-at-home mom house, I’m in a constant state of Momus Interruptus. I don’t get three steps away before I’m asked for something: juice, to replay Clifford “one more time” (by my two year old who thinks one more time means over and over), or to come here and sit with us (by my husband who just wants the three of us to be together at the end of the day). Momus interruptus is the reason I rarely <span style="FONT-STYLE: italic">finish </span>a task once I’ve begun it. I have 10 projects started waiting for the odd block of uninterrupted time.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">I find myself resenting the interruptions, especially when I’m trying to write. It’s so difficult to complete a paragraph when I can’t even complete a thought without saying, “No, you may not open Daddy’s guitar case.” or “Please step away from the electrical outlet!” When the writing bug bites, I have to sit down as quickly as the thoughts come for fear of losing the whole idea. You may say, write the idea down for later. No problem. I’ll just see if I can track down a pen, some paper that doesn’t contain a grocery list or yesterday’s Jeopardy scores (I gotta have some fun) before being asked, “May I please have a harshmallow?” When I’ve located said implements I often end up writing down whatever cute thing Rafe just said (harshmallow is one of my favorites!) and putting in his baby book - which is so much more important than some Mommy essay anyway.</span> <span style="font-family:arial;"><br /><br />Then comes the guilt! I find myself feeling bad for the times I tell my son or husband, “Just a minute…” I apparently say it so often now that Rafe picked it up and chooses to use it at the most inopportune times, like when I say, “Please step away from the electrical outlet!”</span> <span style="font-family:arial;"><br /><br />The rub of it all is that a balance must exist between what’s acutely important and what must be done for sanity’s sake. Sitting on the couch watching Clifford with my baby who’s so quickly morphing into a boy, that‘s acutely important. Playing trains with him when his mind is working at warp speed and he’s imagining a whole world before my very eyes, also acutely important. The “stuff” that I must do for sanity’s sake, is, say, sweeping the grit off the floor after we’ve been in and out a dozen times because it sets my teeth on edge, or going around to pick up the sippy cups that appear in the oddest places so that a top can be found for milk at 6:30 a.m. Because I must accomplish at least a few of those tasks each day, I try to utilize Rafe’s nap time for something other than my own nap. This isn’t easy because my writing is usually relegated to the after midnight slot and my little alarm clock is full-speed ahead bright and early.<br /><br /></span><span style="font-family:arial;">I do, however, have to boast that I have the most wonderful (and blessedly retired) mother-in-law in the entire world who delights in Rafe spending the night with them at least one night during the week. My own dear mother is always happy to have him sleep over with them on the weekends. The support helps me catch up with the mundane but necessary.<br /><br /></span><span style="font-family:arial;">It‘s so cliché to say, but there just isn’t enough time in a day to get done all the things you want to do and all the things you have to do. My heart chooses the acutely important while my mind chooses the necessary, and never the twain shall meet, so to speak. My stress levels when the necessaries are lacking make the acutely important harder to enjoy! It’s easy to be sentimental and say, I’ll worry about the chores later. That’s all fine and good until someone doesn’t have a clean towel or underwear. My daily prayer is that I can strike the balance of being available for the important while doing enough necessary for all of us to leave the house clothed tomorrow. And while I’m at it, I’ll ask God to help me remember to scoop up all the acutely important moments I can. </span><span style="font-family:arial;"><br /><br />In that spirit, two of my favorite poems on this subject come to mind. I think I’ll print them and put them on the fridge to help me relax and remember what’s truly “necessary”.</span> </span><br /><span style="font-size:130%;"><span style="font-family:arial;"></span></span><br /><span style="font-size:130%;"><span style="font-family:arial;">My dishes went unwashed today,</span> <span style="font-family:arial;">I didn’t make the bed.</span> </span><br /><span style="font-size:130%;"><span style="font-family:arial;">I took her hand and followed where</span> <span style="font-family:arial;">her eager footsteps led.</span> </span><br /><span style="font-size:130%;"><span style="font-family:arial;">Her little singsong voice I heard,</span> <span style="font-family:arial;">her thoughts I understood.</span> </span><br /><span style="font-size:130%;"><span style="font-family:arial;">My kitchen wasn’t mopped today, </span><span style="font-family:arial;">but life was rich and good.</span> </span><br /><span style="font-size:130%;"><span style="font-family:arial;">That my house was neglected,</span> <span style="font-family:arial;">that I didn’t sweep the stairs,</span> </span><br /><span style="font-size:130%;"><span style="font-family:arial;">In twenty years no one on earth </span><span style="font-family:arial;">will know or even care.</span> </span><br /><span style="font-size:130%;"><span style="font-family:arial;">But that I helped my daughter </span><span style="font-family:arial;">into a joyful woman grow,</span> </span><br /><span style="font-size:130%;"><span style="font-family:arial;">In twenty years the whole wide world </span><span style="font-family:arial;">may look and see and know. </span></span><br /><span style="font-size:130%;"><span style="font-family:arial;">Anonymous </span></span><br /><span style="font-size:130%;"><span style="font-family:arial;"></span><span style="font-family:arial;"></span></span><br /><span style="font-size:130%;"><span style="font-family:arial;">The cleaning and scrubbing can wait ‘til tomorrow</span> </span><br /><span style="font-size:130%;"><span style="font-family:arial;">For babies grow up, we’ve learned to our sorrow</span> </span><br /><span style="font-size:130%;"><span style="font-family:arial;">So quiet down cobwebs, and dust go to sleep</span> <span style="font-family:arial;">I’m rocking my baby, </span></span><br /><span style="font-size:130%;"><span style="font-family:arial;">and babies don’t keep. </span></span><br /><span style="font-size:130%;"><span style="font-family:arial;">Author Unknown </span><br /><br /></span><span style="font-size:130%;"></span>Lori Boatfieldhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07690941945347161574noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-139702798596408261.post-45516678074142245462009-01-08T20:13:00.000-08:002009-01-08T20:24:37.065-08:00One Big Boob<span style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;">As seen in Valley Babies Magazine<br />October/November 2008<br /></span><a href="http://www.valleybabies.com/">http://www.valleybabies.com/</a><br /><br /><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;">So you’re breastfeeding. Do you ever feel like all you are is one big boob? Your baby wants them, your husband wants them for an entirely different reason, and even though the boobs are attached to you, they betray you at every turn: they leak, they grow at alarming speeds, and just keep ‘em full for a couple hours too long, and they turn to stone.<br /></span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;"><strong>The Issues</strong><br /></span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;"><strong>Health:<br /></strong>My choice to breastfeed was based on the well-being of my baby. I was terrified before and after he was born that he wouldn’t take well to nursing, and that I wouldn’t have enough for him. As my friend’s pediatrician tells her in heavily accented English, “You don’t worry for that!” I needn’t have worried on either count. On the contrary, Rafe had no problems, and when the milk came, it did so in abundance.<br /></span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;">What I never imagined was that the choice to breastfeed would have such an impact on my well-being. When Rafe was around 6 weeks old, I began to experience postpartum depression. I believe if I had not been breastfeeding, I would have totally disconnected from him. I dreaded him, feared caring for him. My husband would send me out to shop, or to drive, or to exercise, or to listen to music, but when it was time to feed the baby, I had to come back home. While, at the time, I didn’t relish the idea of coming back home to a colicky baby, for a few minutes during and after the feeding, I felt relief from my symptoms. Of course, there’s a biological reason for this. God doesn’t fool around with his planning. For me, nursing kept me from running away from my responsibility as a mother. Make no mistake, I did ask for and receive medical and pharmaceutical help for postpartum depression, but nursing played a part in my recovery.</span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;"><br /><strong>Modesty (or lack there-of):<br /></strong>What’s funny to me is what happens to your modesty when you’re breastfeeding. As a young teen, I didn’t want my bras hung to dry on a rack where my dad might see them. However, the modesty issue became a non-issue when I began to breastfeed. I didn’t go bare boobed directly in front of the men in my family, but I sure covered with a blanket and fed Rafe in the same room with everyone when I didn’t feel like missing the conversation. One of my sisters-in-law was the same. I’ll always remember after my nephew was born how careful my father was to knock and announce his arrival to a room, having gotten an accidental eyeful early on. It became a joke to make sure she wasn’t topless when visitors arrived.<br /><br />And let’s not forget the pumping. I had an electric pump with a special bra that let me pump hands-free. I usually did this in front of the television. Without fail, someone came to the door while I was pumping, and I had to disentangle myself from the contraption and “get decent".<br /><br />A dear teacher friend of mine was pumping in her locked classroom during her planning period when she was surprised by the custodian who unlocked the door to clean the room. For her, there wasn’t time to “get decent”. She was embarrassed, but mommy immodesty goes a long way in saving face in a situation like that. I’ll bet that custodian never unlocked her classroom door again!<br /><br /></span><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;"><strong>Ending:</strong><br />I was sad when I began to wean my son from the breast. The last feeding time that I dropped was the bed-time one. The calming effect at the end of the day wasn’t just for the baby. You breastfeeding moms know the prolactin is fast-actin’! The bond lasts far beyond the actual nursing, and the “miracle of God’s perfect plan” moments far outshone the “one big boob” moments for me.<br /></span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;">So if you’ve braved the wilds of breastfeeding, for however long, I raise my glass to you, and say, “Cherish your little one‘s babyhood, and cherish your firm breasts. Neither will last forever! Here’s to you.”</span>Lori Boatfieldhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07690941945347161574noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-139702798596408261.post-22138517913239997772008-12-29T22:52:00.001-08:002008-12-29T23:15:40.562-08:00Peace Comes in a Whisper... I Usually Need a Roar<span style="font-size:130%;"><span style="font-family:arial;">Written December 2008</span><br /><br /></span><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;">There’s an old hymn entitled He Whispers Sweet Peace to Me. When I hear it, I always think of the funeral of a close friend of mine. He was killed in a car accident at the age of 20; an age at which most of us feel invincible. On that long ago June day, for me, invincible became inconsolable.<br /><br />The reason, however, the long dreaded hymn comes to mind is because I recently shared the story of that funeral with another friend. We were discussing inappropriate reactions during tragic or emotionally charged events.<br /><br />I recounted that at the funeral, a choir of elderly ladies sang He Whispers Sweet Peace to Me in what can only be described as quavering falsetto. Obviously their voices shook with sorrow. As they sang, I stopped crying momentarily, glancing at my mother, who was sitting next to me. She was looking down at her hands in her lap and her eyes widened slightly. Her response was nearly imperceptible, except to me, watching so closely. That reaction alone tipped the heavy scale of emotion from ragged grief to repressed mirth. Repressed, that is, until the gentleman in front of us, a talented and well-trained singer, gave his wife a nudge and uttered a dismayed grunt. The scale tipped all the way over and dumped my mother and me into a fit of giggles. The more we tried to suppress them, the less we were able.<br /><br />Though I don’t believe anyone could distinguish between our ill-hidden giggles and the sobs from the previous moments, we were both very embarrassed. What is ironic to me is that the song was chosen as a comfort for the mourning crowd. Had I been able to get past the performance aspect and hear the message, it might have had a different impact.<br /><br />Since giving the account, I’ve been thinking about the concept of God’s peace. I was raised in a Christian home and grew up in a church where I heard a lot about the subject. My mother, aside from the giggling episode (maybe that was God’s way of giving us a little peace right then!), is a living testament to the term. Even in the face of fears, disappointments, illnesses, and death, she is the stillness in the midst of calamity. When I ask her to explain, she shrugs and quotes, “And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus." KJV</span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;"><br />Her answer begs the question that's at the center of the issue of God’s peace. Which came first the peace or the stillness? I’ve always been prone to running around like the proverbial beheaded chicken. Peace often eludes me as I rush around trying to control everything.<br /><br />On the other hand, it has been during periods of anxiety and deep despair that I learned lessons about peace. On my wedding day, I was plagued with a case of nerves just before leaving the bride room to enter the sanctuary. While I had no qualms about getting married, I believe it was stage fright of sorts. I realized 300 pairs of eyes eagerly awaited my entrance and would focus intently on me. My ever serene mother stood beside me, soothing me as if I were a crying child, while my heart hammered erratically. After a moment of fanning myself and fluttering around, my mother took my face between her hands. “Lori,” she said, “pray for peace.” I shook my head, amazed. Didn’t she know I was too keyed up? “Mama, I can’t pray right now. You pray for peace <em>for</em> me!” She led me to the sofa and held my hand. “Be still,” she said, then she began to address God like I asked. Almost instantly, a veil (no pun intended) of calm descended. Looking back, I believe God answered her prayer, and fast. I also believe her command to be still was a factor in the equation. I was no longer fretful or anxious. I floated through the ceremony on a happy high.<br /><br />After my son was born, I experienced a similar feeling of fright (times 1000), only this time my body waged war on the perfect life I had planned. While I worried and cried without ceasing, my husband and my mother (who are eerily alike, by the way) were the catalysts for my calm. As I became increasingly desperate, they urged me to seek medical attention. While medication dealt with the chemical imbalance, it served another important function: it allowed me to be still. God sends peace in all kinds of packages, doesn’t He? My nearly hourly prayers were answered with a peace born of hope. Hope that I could get past the fear. Hope that I could be a sane mother to my precious baby. Hope that one day in the not too distant future, I could help my child understand that it’s not for nothing, that song. Be still and listen up…He WHISPERS sweet peace.<br /><br /><br /></span><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;"></span><span style="font-family:arial;"></span>Lori Boatfieldhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07690941945347161574noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-139702798596408261.post-70464471918006074982008-10-24T19:34:00.000-07:002008-10-24T19:51:00.095-07:00The Good Old Days<strong><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;">Written September 2008</span></strong><br /><br /><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;">We were sitting in my mother’s happy kitchen last Sunday, the soft hum of the dishwasher signaling after-lunch peace, when my sister-in-law posed an intriguing question: “When are the good old days?” Her point was that we often look back at our lives remembering, through rose-colored glasses, the past.<br /></span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;">Meanwhile, we trudge through our daily lives; and if we’re not looking back, we’re looking forward. We’ll be happy when the weekend comes. We can’t wait until vacation rolls around, then we can have fun. Maybe when the gifts are wrapped, the food prepared, and all the running around finished, we will finally relax and enjoy Christmas.<br /></span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;">There’s nothing wrong with looking forward. Only sometimes, in the constant anticipation of what’s coming later, we neglect now.<br /></span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;">As the mother of a toddler, time has existed in a strange warp the last 18 months. The first two months blew by like a tornado; fast, wild, and leaving a trail of destruction in the house! The next couple of months crept by ever so slowly while we dealt with nearly constant crying: Rafe’s and mine. He had colic, and I had postpartum depression. Thankfully, those months passed with the help of an army of support: good doctors, my unshakable husband and our extended family! Now, as I look back, I wish I could have spent more time enjoying and less time worrying.<br /></span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;">The key, for me, is to realize that through paying bills, changing diapers, and trying to find the bottom of the laundry hamper, life is happening. Moments that I want to treasure happen all the time. Happy Saturday morning moments when Jason and I laugh hysterically at who knows what while we set up for a yard sale at dawn. Remarkable Monday lunchtime moments when the three of us play on the floor and Rafe says, “Catch!” for the first time. Or, moments like this one, when it’s almost naptime and my sweet boy brings me a book and climbs into the chair with me (the baby, not the husband).<br /></span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;">It’s worth the interruption of whatever task I leave for later, because these moments are fleeting. It’s a privilege to catch so many snapshots in time. I make a vow to myself to stop worrying about what’s wrong with the car and how much it will cost to fix, and really pay attention to the bears in Rafe’s book. I’ll put extra animation in their voices and watch him smile at his silly mother, because the “good old days” are right now.</span>Lori Boatfieldhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07690941945347161574noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-139702798596408261.post-44704356669828672852008-10-24T19:23:00.000-07:002008-10-24T19:51:45.910-07:00Day of Rest<span style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;"><strong>As seen in the Sand Mountain Reporter Newspaper<br />Saturday August 2, 2008<br /></strong></span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;">Sunday morning comes with the promise of worship, fellowship, peace… Well, peace is a stretch. Our Sunday mornings come at the speed of light, riddled with every conceivable catastrophe.<br /></span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;">Saturday nights have morphed into “the old folks at home” most weeks, peppered with an occasional dinner out. Even so, we have trouble getting to bed at a decent hour. Whatever tasks are required for Sunday are frequently left until bedtime Saturday night since the week is so chaotic.<br /></span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;">So Sunday morning comes. I always feel a little sleepier, partially due to the late night, and partially because the temptation to lie in bed all morning is a mighty one. The clothes are pressed and laid out (if they weren’t, no one would ever manage to get out of the house.) Yet even with the night-before preparations, the calamity strikes. In earlier days, spit-up played a role. Without fail, the spitting up covered both the baby’s clothes and at least one adult outfit. More recently we’ve happily gotten past spit-up as a bodily function that delays, but others shift into the vacancy. Then there’s the inevitable leaving-behind of something important. Or, as the wonderful parents that we are, forgetting to feed our son breakfast. In our defense, it was a weird morning and he went back to bed for a nap before church-unheard of! So with the leaving behind comes the going back, which always takes a bit longer than you expect, because you catch sight of your hair in the mirror, and believe me, it needs work!<br /></span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;">This Sunday morning, I was so proud of myself that I got up and got ready in time to go to early choir practice! That extra sleepy factor usually sucks me back in. Almost ready, my husband comes in the room to say he’s been called in to see a patient and will meet us at church, later. We go into express mode to get Rafe ready, with opposition at every step: he doesn’t care that his nose is disgusting or that breakfast (that he was lucky to get!) is still on his chin, he doesn’t want to get cleaned! I finally get us both in the car and realize that the shoes I have on just won’t work because I have a blister on my toe from wearing them the previous day and I can barely limp along. Going back in, I realize I had left my notes for children’s sermon on the kitchen table, spattered with oatmeal, no less. After changing my shoes, dropping my cell phone (my prop for children’s sermon) twice, and tripping on a small wooden animal, we were on our way: to worship, fellowship, and just maybe, a little peace.</span>Lori Boatfieldhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07690941945347161574noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-139702798596408261.post-6843602209740788212008-10-24T19:18:00.000-07:002008-10-24T19:22:03.133-07:00Watch Your Mouth!<strong><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;">Written July 2008</span></strong><br /><br /><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;">I knew it would happen. I just never imagined it would happen so soon. My son has begun to repeat what he hears. Just today, my sixteen month old son, Rafe, parroted at least three different words; “puppy, please,” and much to my chagrin, “poopy”.<br /></span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;">It’s funny to me how my perspective has changed in terms of language. Words that I never considered particularly ugly before, I cringe with dread when I think of hearing from my baby’s mouth. I’m terrified when I imagine what he may one day hear at school, but I know what he hears at home will have more impact on him. Rafe watches and listens very carefully, and mimics us. It’s a mighty burden and a powerful chance to shape him properly. My five year old nephew told me a motto he learned in Sunday School last week, which went like this, “Watch your ways, and control what you say.” That’s a lesson most parents would do well to remember, myself included, particularly when your children begin to pick up your words and phrases.<br /></span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;">We live in a really old house, in which the floors aren’t exactly level, to put it mildly. Therefore, doors tend to close by themselves. I grasped just what a sponge our boy had become when he pushed open a door yesterday, then shouted, “Day!” translation, “Stay!” I had heard my husband give the same command to the doors of the entertainment center the night before.<br /></span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;">I dread the day, and the day will come, when one of my "slips" slips out of his mouth at church. We must try our very best as parents to “watch our ways, and control what we say.” The happy flipside of the teeth gnashing “poopy” moments is when we’re so proud of something copied. At meals or bedtime, when Rafe folds his baby hands, unprompted, in preparation for prayer, I think, just maybe, we’re doing a few things worthy of imitation.</span>Lori Boatfieldhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07690941945347161574noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-139702798596408261.post-65945531526842160432008-10-24T18:46:00.000-07:002008-10-24T19:28:29.222-07:00Home, Cluttered Home<span style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;"><strong>Written June 2008</strong></span><br /><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:130%;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;">As I sit at the computer, I can hear the sounds of ripping paper behind me. My little mouse has found a roll of adding machine paper and is in the process of tearing it to shreds. This stops my work momentarily, and I pause to trade him an empty box (one of his favorites) and try to regain my train of thought. Sometimes, the offense is small enough that I glance back and keep typing, thinking the price of cleaning up 200 envelopes will be worth the mental continuity.<br /></span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;">Ah, being a stay-at-home mom/writer/marketing liaison/lousy maid, there’s just nothing like it. The upside is that I often get to work in my pajamas. The downside is that my toddler wreaks havoc in his pajamas while I attempt to work. A delicate balance is required for working, parenting, playing, and housekeeping. Striking that balance continually escapes me.<br /></span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;">On top of the day-to-day insanity of my life, I’m responsible for many duties at Vacation Bible School this week, and my husband is out of the country for two weeks. Jason takes an annual mission trip to Zimbabwe with a small group, where they minister both spiritually and medically to the people of the Tonga tribe. While I am so proud of him for risking himself for the mission (literally, things are quite dangerous there now), I miss his company and his help. Usually, he’s away at work during the day, however, when he comes home, he shares equally in the child care. I have a special prayer in my heart for single parents these days, and I wonder how they manage.<br /></span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;">The true upside to my life is that God has blessed me with a Christian husband, a healthy child, a wonderful extended family and enough sense to recognize how fortunate I am. Once in a while, when my boy says, “Mommy, play,” I stop. I save my text, sit down amidst the envelopes, flashcards, and foam peanuts to play with the sweetest baby this side of the Zambezi River. The clutter and chaos will still be here when we‘re done, but I’d like to think as he grows up, the thing he’ll remember most is that Mommy played. </span>Lori Boatfieldhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07690941945347161574noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-139702798596408261.post-13287143437096872062008-10-23T19:35:00.000-07:002008-10-30T09:51:21.088-07:00Motherhood: A Year in Review<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhoBvKlqw0ebjH1m1dM9y8Ba1SfmDmjJzebutvjSboF0wZdGiyeyFzsSWn9PqkgswRtcoQIhIzHhjeK5Xh2i9cUQpdf79EZzFWmdNv3P3Zl7xWQFDHrrGC4P8Hd40a4oGDW7Wss68WF-ww/s1600-h/Mmm+Cake.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5260908830831972370" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; WIDTH: 200px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 152px" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhoBvKlqw0ebjH1m1dM9y8Ba1SfmDmjJzebutvjSboF0wZdGiyeyFzsSWn9PqkgswRtcoQIhIzHhjeK5Xh2i9cUQpdf79EZzFWmdNv3P3Zl7xWQFDHrrGC4P8Hd40a4oGDW7Wss68WF-ww/s200/Mmm+Cake.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEijV7PfdO5yhxlOqls7E7dSYHLX6bHmgKUV6NSWzycInAZobjea9WSlec5lYqeJcpDX7AmeYfXl6hG5E7SjaDurfMJJcbPkJvKtDOLGPM5KjUmIRdnKCVUg_sJFySyUi6BxcUy4Fjc7_8Y/s1600-h/Mmm+Cake.jpg"></a><strong><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;">Written January 2008</span><br /></strong><br /><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;">The tiny scrap of hair, skin and flattened nose that made his entrance last year has bloomed into a gorgeous, blond life-force of crawling, chattering energy. Yes, my boy has just turned one.<br /></span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;">What a ride! Everyone told me what a whirlwind this year would be. I still can’t believe its come and gone. All you moms and moms-to-be, this is for you. For you who are just about to enter this phase of your life, please don‘t be afraid! If you’ve just been on this journey, I’m sure you’ll find some commonalities. If you’re the mother of two, or three, or five, then sit back and chuckle at this rookie’s naïve words.<br /><br />I divide the stages of my motherhood evolution into these:<br /></span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;">The Euphoria<br />Just as I imagine a skydiver feels after that first jump, I was exhilarated immediately after childbirth. My husband and mother, both knowing what a pain-fearing ninny I really am, praised my performance over and over. I was proud of the fact that I didn’t collapse into hysterics at the advent of pushing a nearly nine pound baby into the world (oh no, the hysterics would come later). The feelings of accomplishment were, of course, accompanied by the sheer joy of having a healthy and perfect baby. My husband and I didn’t stop beaming at each other for days. After coming home the euphoria waned a bit, but didn’t go away. If the night wakings were not easy for me, the early mornings were murder. Still, I was positive, happy, and not at all frightened by the aspect of motherhood. Rafe was a good baby, rarely crying. I felt a little clingy to my husband, Jason, which is not really my style, and I confess that I was weepy at bedtime. Ever late to bed, this new regimen of early bedtime was challenging, and I felt very alone when I was up with Rafe during the night feedings. So I struggled a little then, but chalked it up to the baby blues. Jason went back to work, and I began my life as a stay-at-home mom.<br /><br />The Colic and the Terror<br />About six weeks into my maiden voyage into motherhood (no pun intended), two things happened to change the course of the world for us. Rafe began to cry. And cry, and cry. For what seemed like hours on end, he cried. His pediatrician, after multiple visits and after hours calls, finally told us, “It sounds like colic.”<br />At the same time,maybe even a bit before that, my baby blues blossomed into depression. Even on the days when the baby wasn’t crying, I was, ceaselessly. I questioned my ability to deal with motherhood. I dreaded the time I had to spend with Rafe. I resented Jason, for what I perceived as his unchanged routine, while at the same time clinging to him and needing to be near him desperately. If I could have crawled inside his chest, I would have, and still not have felt close enough. I called my mother ten times a day and asked her if I was crazy. I called my sisters-in-law to ask if they had felt like me. I begged my husband not to leave me and go to work. I awakened every morning with a sick feeling that an entire day stretched out ahead, filled with caring for a screaming infant. I started to feel afraid to be alone with Rafe. I imagined myself dropping him, or falling with him, or worse. I felt so wretched that I just wanted to run away. I literally would beg to go to the emergency room just to escape.<br /></span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;">Worse, I felt disconnected to Rafe. I didn’t want to hold him, I just went through the motions. Jason would ask me, “Isn’t he precious, Mommy?”, and I couldn’t muster up feelings for him. I was terrified. On top of the fear was the guilt. Here I was, with a healthy baby, a supportive husband and family who loved all of us, but I couldn’t feel happy. No matter what, I was just so sad and frightened. I knew I was experiencing postpartum depression. Even so, I told very few people what was happening. I was good at putting on a show. At church, at the grocery store, I smiled and said my life was wonderful, all the while hating everyone I saw because they felt a happiness that escaped me. My husband was superman during this time. He would calm me down and tell me the feelings were temporary, that soon, I would feel better.<br /></span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;">About the third time my mother came over and I sat in her lap and cried, she made me promise to go to my doctor. She said, “Tell him everything. Don’t sugarcoat it, don’t try to be the perfect mother, just tell him how you feel.”<br /></span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;">Now, if you’re reading this, and you are feeling <em>any</em> of these feelings, I beg you to tell someone! Don’t be ashamed. These feelings stem from a chemical imbalance, and you are NOT to blame. Tell your doctor, tell your mother, tell your pastor. TELL SOMEONE.<br /><br />The Rise from the Ashes<strong><br /></strong></span><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;">I did go to my doctor, and I did tell him how I was REALLY feeling. He took me seriously. He asked me some very serious questions. Then he prescribed medication to help the chemical imbalance right itself.<br /></span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;">It took a few weeks for the dread to subside. It took a few more before I could come home from running errands while Rafe was with his grandmother, and not feel nauseated, sweaty, and panicked. Truthfully, I still obsessed about the crying, but that was getting better as I did. The pediatrician recommended we add rice cereal to Rafe’s diet, and that seemed to make him feel better quickly. I still worried about our lives never being normal again. I wondered how people adjusted their lives to include a child without becoming slaves.<br /></span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;">The Happy Mommy<br /></span><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;">Thanks be to God, who heard my often hourly prayers for strength and help, I recovered. I began to relax and enjoy my sweet baby. I started to cherish the days and hours I could play with him, and teach him, watch and listen to him. I felt privileged to be the one on whom he depended.<br /></span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;">I revel in each new accomplishment, now. When Jason asks me, “Isn’t he precious?” I can answer without reservation. As I photographed him digging into his first birthday cake this past weekend, I was struck by how far I had come in my journey to be his mother. How blessed I am to be healthy. I know the joys shine brighter after the darkness.<br />Now, maybe Rafe needs a sister…</span></div>Lori Boatfieldhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07690941945347161574noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-139702798596408261.post-4676596614046648922008-10-23T19:28:00.000-07:002008-10-23T19:34:49.179-07:00Got Milk?<strong><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;">As seen in Valley Babies </span></strong><br /><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;"><strong>February/March 08<br /></strong></span><br /><span style="font-size:130%;"><span style="font-family:arial;">Ah, childbirth. I was terrified of it. I’ve always been a bit of a Nervous Nellie, to say the least. So when it was over, I was really happy! I had a healthy, beautiful baby, I felt pretty good, so on to the next challenge, right?<br /></span><br /></span><span style="font-size:130%;"></span><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;">My son took to the breast with no qualms. He latched on the first time as skillfully as he does now! The problem was, the nurses said he acted as though he was starving. The colostrum wasn’t satisfying him. They would bring him back to me after bathing him, and he’d be howling. We began to give him formula with a nifty little contraption called a supplementer. Without getting into too much detail, it allowed him to get formula through a small tube that attached directly to me while he nursed. It was a great temporary solution.<br /></span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;">Like many mothers, breastfeeding made me apprehensive because I feared the baby wouldn’t get enough nourishment. Therefore, when my milk still hadn’t come in by the time we came home from the hospital, Nervous Nellie grew more nervous. The supplementer was becoming tedious to use, particularly at 2 a.m. with my mother and my husband hovering over trying to help. Make no mistake, I was grateful for ANY help I could get, but it added to the pressure.<br /></span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;">Obsessing is one of my greatest talents, and I put it to use in those few days. I waited and watched, terrified that no milk would come. I had read book after book during my pregnancy. I could recite the way it was supposed to happen, how it should feel. I asked anyone pertinent who came to see us, “How did you know when your milk came in?” They always answered with certainty, “Oh, you’ll know!” But still, nothing. Five days had passed. The supplementer solution, intended as a temporary fix, was becoming less and less user friendly.<br /></span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;">On the sixth morning, just before going to the pediatrician’s office for Rafe’s first check-up, I undressed to shower. When I caught my reflection in the mirror, I knew. I hadn’t felt any of the sensations I’d read or heard about, but there was no mistake, the milk fairy had visited while I slept. I was so overjoyed I ran (well, walked gingerly, I had just birthed nearly 9 lbs of baby) into the bedroom to let my husband in on the good news by showing the proof. He would have thrown beads if he’d had some handy! My dear mother-in-law also was startled to see the proof when I hurried into the nursery to flash the happy tidings. I think three adults have never danced around so merrily at the advent of properly functioning mammary glands!<br /></span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;">Breastfeeding has become so routine now, I can’t believe I felt that nervous. I was blessed that Rafe had such an easy time with it. I personally am glad not to boil bottles, warm formula, pack milk, etc. I’ve got the goods already packed, warm, and with us where ever we go. The sheer convenience of breastfeeding sells me on it again and again.<br /></span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;">Sure, there are drawbacks, like being solely responsible for your child’s meals for most of the first year of his life. Even if you don’t physically feed the baby yourself, you still must pump to keep up your milk supply (and to preserve that precious nectar for when he sleeps over at Nana’s!). And with the pumping, you get the boiling, steam cleaning, storage, etc. You also miss out on adult conversation if you don’t feel comfortable covering up and nursing in the room with some people.<br /></span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;">However, for me, the pros far outweigh the cons. In addition to the health benefits for him and for me, I get something even more precious. For a fleeting few minutes, and for a few more months, I sit down with my boy. I have his total attention, and he, mine. What a privilege, this cherished connection with him that no one else gets! I consider it a miracle. God gave me the ability to perfectly nourish my child, all the while looking into his sweet face and catching the corners of his mouth turning up when I talk to him. I can’t imagine anything more wonderful.</span>Lori Boatfieldhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07690941945347161574noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-139702798596408261.post-4988832316151089542008-10-23T19:22:00.000-07:002008-10-24T19:30:00.042-07:00Getting Surly About Surly People<strong><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;">As seen in the Gadsden Times </span></strong><br /><strong><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;">Sunday October 8, 2006<br /></span></strong><br /><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;">I don’t know if you can hear the scraping, but my soapbox is heavy, so I have to drag it along behind me to get it into place. My complaint is about surly people: ones who look surly and especially ones who act surly. I once read somewhere that if you smile, even if you don’t feel like smiling, your attitude will catch up with your face. I think many of the people I encounter have either not read this adage, or have read it and discarded it, because some of them look like their attitude wouldn’t recognize a smile if it smacked them in the mouth, (no pun intended.)<br /></span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;">I took it upon myself to do some research into the subject by studying folks while out and about. The grocery store and Wal-Mart are two of my main spots for observation. I have grouped the grumpies into three categories: the unintentional frowners, the common downers, and the downright miserable scowlers.<br /></span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;">Let’s take the first category. This is the mildest offense. These are people who probably don’t realize they look so unhappy. We’re all guilty of the unintentional frown occasionally, because it’s the look of concentration we get when we can’t find the Velveeta at Wal-Mart (another subject for another soapbox). The unintentional frown is usually temporary, disappearing after the resolution of the problem. The people in this group will usually snap out of it and return a smile if you beam at them persistently.<br /><br /></span><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;"></span><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;">The second group is a little more offensive. The common downers are the people who, when asked how they are, say, “Fine,” and leave a dreadful silence while you wait fruitlessly for them to ask how you are. People in this group will also resort, when asked about themselves, to using my very favorite response, “Well, I’m here.” This is generally accompanied by a deep sigh. Their chief crime is not purposeful surliness, but rather a lack of enthusiasm. This bunch just doesn’t realize the effect they have with their dreariness. An example of this is the person at the drive-through window who says, “It’s a great day at (insert restaurant), could I take your order?” with about as much gusto as a child at Christmas, thanking the giver after opening socks. If you expect to have a smile returned by a member of this group, beware, the result is typically half-hearted. More often than not, it turns out as more of a smirk, with no joy reaching the eyes.<br /></span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;">The third group is the worst! The scowlers actually spread discontent with their expressions. This is the cashier at the grocery store who won’t speak, but simply scans your items and slams them down on the other side. When forced, these group members may respond to a determined, “How are YOU?”, but they won’t be pleased about it. You’ll probably want to tear out your hair when you ask where you might find blank note cards and hear the answer of the scowling clerk who rolls her eyes and says, “This is not my department.” Further, my research shows that in face-to-face contact, 4 of 10 strangers met were miserable scowlers who wouldn‘t smile back no matter how hard I tried. That’s quite a statement.<br /><br />Now, please let me qualify by saying that last Sunday, I listened and agreed with our pastor when he spoke about the evils of judging people. He said that we most often don’t know all the facts, and therefore are in no position to draw conclusions about how people act. I do realize that some people have valid reasons for being surly. Moreover, I’m not trying to pick on people who happen to work at Wal-Mart or the grocery store, many of whom are as cheerful (and helpful) as possible. Nor am I condemning truly shy individuals who have trouble meeting someone’s eyes, much less speaking to a wildly enthusiastic person.<br /></span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;">We all feel surly from time to time. I’m sure we’ve all fallen into one or more of these categories sometime in our lives. It’s human. My point is that we should really be aware of the expressions on our face, because just like the flu, they’re contagious. So why not spread around a little happy. I know some miserable scowlers who could really use a smile today.</span>Lori Boatfieldhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07690941945347161574noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-139702798596408261.post-43995804202227677472008-10-23T19:16:00.000-07:002008-10-24T19:15:22.019-07:00Sleep, Glorious Sleep<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEivNdlhDbkmq80K6R3FNXiNi_1ehuCStrgIUvaeNndAe_7rq_xRA3J0K5eS0z4RFWQvfrX3KFWCYb9FG_HkISl3QLxEttuXfUVduBVr5Kyz4J1iw3SAtjyOVVZio39ESkEpOeedeqE85E0/s1600-h/Falling+Asleep.jpg.794517246.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5260909314798010370" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; WIDTH: 200px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 164px" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEivNdlhDbkmq80K6R3FNXiNi_1ehuCStrgIUvaeNndAe_7rq_xRA3J0K5eS0z4RFWQvfrX3KFWCYb9FG_HkISl3QLxEttuXfUVduBVr5Kyz4J1iw3SAtjyOVVZio39ESkEpOeedeqE85E0/s200/Falling+Asleep.jpg.794517246.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><div><strong><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;">As seen in Valley Babies </span></strong><br /><strong><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;">December 07/January 08</span></strong> </div><br /><div><br /><strong></strong><br /><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;">Mama said there’d be nights like this. I can’t seem to learn my lesson about boasting and being smug. Despite having colic (I can say it now that it’s over), my son began sleeping through the night at the age of 6 weeks. He went to sleep at around ten at night and would not stir until 8:00 a.m. People would ask me, as people inevitably do, “How does he sleep?” My answer, a prideful; “All night, every night!”<br /></span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;">I read in a book that you shouldn’t brag about how well your child sleeps because it can always change. Well, change it did! When Rafe was five months old, my husband left for a mission trip to Africa, and my little slumbering angel began waking up three or more times a night. Some nights he awakened every hour. I chalked it up to things being “a little off kilter”, and didn’t worry too much. Sadly, my husband’s been back nearly two months and the night wakings haven’t changed.<br /></span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;">When I mentioned this to the pediatrician, he suggested giving him a low dose of antihistamine for a few days to “reset” his clock. For seven blissful nights, we remembered how it was to get a whole night's rest. Then on the eight night, it was back to the drawing board.<br /></span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;">We grasp at straws, trying to imagine what in the world is waking him up. Could it be teething? If so, he’s been teething for two months. We wonder if he’s getting too cold, too warm, has a tummy ache. The thing that smacks me in the face over and over about this parenting gig is that just when you think you’ve gotten over one hurdle, you bump into the mountain that follows. It vexes us when our babies wake up screaming like someone is sticking them with pins. We are bewildered when they are exhausted, nap for fifteen minutes and pop right back up ready to fight sleep with an iron will. They get over colic, then get a cold. Its enough to make you want to take drugs. But of course, you can’t. Who’d get up with the baby while you slept!?<br /></span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;">So I trudge on, chanting my mantra, “This is temporary, this is temporary!” I know this time is fleeting, the good parts as well as the not so good. He’s six months old, and I’ll turn around and be watching him get on the school bus. Notice I didn’t say ‘in the blink of an eye‘. These days closing my eyes is no laughing matter!<br /></span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;">I used to pray that he would sleep again. Now I pray that I can be loving at 3:00 a.m. when it’s the fifth time I’m up, leaning over the crib. I pray that God will help me remember that, right this minute, my baby is the most important piece in the puzzle of my life. He’s more important than the anxiety I feel when the sink is full of dishes and the floor full of grit. He’s healthy and I’m so grateful for that. Therefore, in the morning, bleary eyed, I drop down on the floor to play with my boy, who, for the moment, thinks I’m more fun than any light-blinking, sound-making toy.<br /><br /></span><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;"></span><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;">Maybe soon we’ll get some sleep around here. I hope "soon" begins before the child is three years old. My husband has threatened my life if I read aloud to him from one more book about how to get your baby to sleep. Just like other parents looking for answers, I dig into every possible source. But for now, he’s blessedly sleeping. When I look at him on the monitor, he’s so precious, it makes me want to go and kiss him. I won’t, of course, at the risk of waking him. I’ll just wait until he wakes up to kiss him. It shouldn’t be long now. This is Lori Boatfield, nodding off!</span></div>Lori Boatfieldhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07690941945347161574noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-139702798596408261.post-79878517224950626672008-10-23T19:13:00.000-07:002008-10-24T19:17:34.793-07:00Separation Anxiety<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhnkv1qZV06AAPKAxvFgidRjoszUc5HLzQ2-476OloC-KEQvPHuQRMDga41Fp2RwAxuIYz9hOjiRvudt-ww6uTjve61_1PzuM1xWt4sb_a7LQ00rDFvEhWiewXtAtGDR6hmXlgzmWmI4ZE/s1600-h/ValBab.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5260909926229924242" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; WIDTH: 136px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 200px" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhnkv1qZV06AAPKAxvFgidRjoszUc5HLzQ2-476OloC-KEQvPHuQRMDga41Fp2RwAxuIYz9hOjiRvudt-ww6uTjve61_1PzuM1xWt4sb_a7LQ00rDFvEhWiewXtAtGDR6hmXlgzmWmI4ZE/s200/ValBab.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgG0HW5ehemKjCXlJK6eEpwBET7yUX56RrdVp-XoiN6QGVm3iFwWQ1zYuTpPfifkg_680tZAdEWHSWc-7qEexOnRlNWRg-B9ohpB_fOhqnkIN7JZJ3q-LFRUTghQ6f4X7206VsheEpyVzk/s1600-h/Falling+Asleep.jpg.794517246.jpg"></a><strong><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;">As seen in Anniston Gadsden Christian Family Magazine </span></strong><br /><strong><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;">May 08 </span></strong><strong><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;"><br /></span></strong><br /><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;">As a little girl, I was a romantic. I dreamed of my prince: handsome, charming, a man who would hang on my every word.<br /></span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;">As my mama says, “Careful what you wish for, missy.” I got a man who hangs on my every word. The man of whom I speak isn’t exactly the man of my childhood dreams, but he is a prince. He’s handsome and quite charming, even though he’s short, nearly toothless, and has atrocious table manners. Nor is he satisfied with merely hanging on my words, he also hangs on to my shirt, my hair, and my legs.<br />The boy is altogether sociable. At ten months, he will smile and let most anyone hold him, briefly. Then he wants “Mummee”. He’s even clingier when he’s been with one of his grandmothers all day or overnight. After that, he really doesn’t want me out of his sight for a minute.<br /></span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;">It isn’t so much my leaving him, when I occasionally do, with his grandparents. It’s when I return that he’s distressed. I believe he’s smart enough to be suspicious that I may leave him again. At least that’s how it seems.<br />The weird thing is, as much as it’s a pain when I’m taking a shower and he’s whining in his Exersaucer just outside the curtain, most of the time I feel kind-of happy about the way he wants me. My husband always told me that the dog liked him better, and, the dog did. I always countered that when we had a baby, the child would prefer me. Sure enough.<br /></span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;">Obviously, Rafe loves his daddy, too. He often cries for him when he leaves for work in the mornings. He’s pretty partial to his grandparents and he adores his cousins! But at the end of the day, he wants Mommy. My mother says, “Well, he’s a breast baby,” as an explanation for it. I disagree. That may partially account for his clinginess, as does his age. But, I never really got over my own separation anxiety. I cried the entire trip when I went away to college, and many days after that, missing my mom. I still see her as much as possible.<br />I remember when she went back to work after having stayed home with us from our births. I was just shy of starting kindergarten. I went to a daycare center near her office. Those first few days, I felt completely abandoned. Many of the other kids were picked up before me, and I remember sitting, watching for her. When my mother arrived, I ran to her and buried my face in her neck. The smell of her was my comfort. It wasn’t her perfume, which had long since faded by that time of day, it was simply her essence. When I hug my mother now, I still remember how I felt in those moments when she came to collect me.<br /></span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;">I find it a little inconvenient at times, like when I’m trying to write, and I must stop and pick up Rafe. He stands next to my chair and clutches at me until I give him my attention. I’m sure my mother found my clinginess inconvenient, too, occasionally. But when I think about how I feel about her, even now, and when I consider how I was so completely calmed and reassured when she held me, I am so thankful that my boy wants his mommy. For I know, all too soon, he will wrestle his way out of my arms and my protection to be independent. I can only pray that he will forever find comfort when he clings to me</span>.</div>Lori Boatfieldhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07690941945347161574noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-139702798596408261.post-84013541301625658212008-10-23T19:07:00.000-07:002008-10-23T19:11:31.474-07:00For Crying Out Loud<strong><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;">As seen in Valley Babies </span></strong><br /><span style="font-family:arial;"><span style="font-size:130%;"><strong>October/November 07</strong><br /></span></span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;">It’s amazing the things you can learn to do while holding a baby. Like typing, one-handed, a peck at a time. There’s a commercial on television that says, “Having a baby changes everything.” Well, they’re not just whistling Dixie!<br /></span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;">Before I was a parent, I heard people talking about their lives with infants; using words like sleep deprivation, colic, depression… I heard those words, and many others, but just like any other experience, you can’t understand it until you’ve lived it yourself.<br /></span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;">The minute after my child was born, I was blanketed in such euphoria. I actually told my mother, “The hard part is over.” I can still hear her laughter ringing in my ears. You see, I was so terrified of childbirth, of the pain, that I couldn’t see past it to the REALLY hard part: bringing the baby home and caring for him day in and day out. I was so smug! When people would ask us if he was a good baby, my husband and I would gush, “Oh, yes! He only cries when he’s hungry.” We felt good. He felt good. The world was at our feet. There was nothing to this baby stuff!<br /></span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;">Then the crying started. Oh, and the baby was crying, too! It didn’t take long for the giddiness to wear off and the reality of the job to sink in. The sheer relentlessness of what I had to do began to overwhelm me. I began to wonder on earth I would do with this baby all day long!<br /></span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;">It seems we had a colic situation, although I refused to believe at the time that he had colic. I became the mother every pediatrician hates, visiting and calling constantly, trying to figure out what in the world was making my child cry so alarmingly. He couldn’t possibly have had a condition that doctors really can’t even explain. Five weeks later, I accepted that the baby had some colic-like symptoms, but I still couldn’t bring myself to say he had colic. It would have just been accepting defeat.<br /><br /></span><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;"></span><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;">The funny thing is, (and people who have children will smile in agreement), so many of the ideas you have about childrearing become laughable in the face of a screaming baby. You just plain don’t care that you have to hold him the whole time he sleeps because that means you might get to sleep a bit yourself. And when your mother reminds you how you said you’d let him cry it out, you smile through your own tears and say, “Please pass the Tylenol.”<br /></span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;">Having a baby changes everything, indeed. The fact that it took me nearly six weeks to write a piece that would have taken ten minutes pre-baby is case in point. However, when I feel his soft hair against my cheek, and when he smiles his crooked little smile at me, the worries of my life recede just a bit. I can appreciate small moments of sheer bliss and know that having a baby has changed <em>me</em>.<br /> </span>Lori Boatfieldhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07690941945347161574noreply@blogger.com0